


The Unknown

by Fricksgirl_32



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Character Death, Drama, F/M, Sad Ending, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 07:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 27,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15836898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fricksgirl_32/pseuds/Fricksgirl_32
Summary: It was being called the unknown and no one knew how to get rid of it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was co written with a very old friend of mine and we kinda let our emotions take control on this one so it can come off as sappy at times. Would love to hear feedback though!  
> This is the only story I've ever co wrote.

It was being called the unknown. No one knew where it came from or how to beat it. Some people said it came from animals, others said it came from certain kinds of water. So far, the disease had only effected young kids and people with health problems, but it was spreading fast.

Researchers had figured out that it was a cross between the flu and cancer. It started out like someone had the flu and it progressed from there. It also had a way of messing with people different ways. Like, one person could lose their sight while another's bad memories would haunt them each time they go to sleep. There was more then just one deadly disease going around. All with no cure.

 

The Backstreet Boys were working on their last song for their new album. None of them could believe it was finally almost finished even though it wouldn't be released until next year and hoped the fans would understand. They wanted to make a good comeback album. 

You okay?" Nick asked Brian. He had been coughing all day.

"Yeah." Brian replied. He hadn't felt good for the last two days.

"Did you guys hear about the new disease going around?" AJ asked.

"Yeah" Brian replied, "I'm afraid to even go outside anymore"

They grabbed their things and headed out to Kevin's SUV. They were in L.A. and decided to crash at Kevin and Kristin's house while they finished up the album.

"I'm even afraid to take Baylee anywhere." Brian commented. They put their stuff in the SUV and climbed in. Kevin headed for home.

"Do they know the cause of it yet?" Nick asked, continuing the conversation.

"No, but it's killing more kids then adults." Howie replied.

"Kids that are Baylee's age." Kevin added.

"No wonder you're afraid to take him anywhere, Frick." Nick commented. Baylee was only a year old, almost two.

"Yeah." Brian replied, coughing. He had been staying away from Baylee since he had caught his cold so Baylee wouldn't catch it also. It was killing Brian to be away from Baylee, but he didn’t want his son to catch whatever he had. Leighanne flat out refused to stay away from Brian when he was home. 

Kevin pulled into the driveway and shut the car off. Everyone climbed out and grabbed their belonging. Kevin let them into the house.

"Kris." Kevin said. With no reply, Kevin walked into the living room and found Kristin on the floor unconscious. He ran over to her and picked her up. 

"I'll call the ambulance." Brian said, running to the phone.

The ambulance came as fast as they could and told them to stay there and stay calm. While they were waiting for the ambulance, Kevin held his wife in his arms. When the ambulance got there, they put her in the ambulance, and Kev went along with her telling her "Don't worry. I'm here." While the others followed along in Kev's car.

They got to the hospital and the nurse at the front desk showed them the waiting room Kevin was in. 

"Have you heard anything yet?" Brian asked. 

"No." Kevin replied. 

A few minutes later, the doctor walks in, making Kevin and the other guys looked up. The doctor walked in and looked at Kevin with a face that isn't always good to see. 

"I'm sorry Kevin. We lost her.” Right then and there Kevin lost it. Crying for his dear wife. The other boys surrounded him and wanted to comfort him in every way they could. They couldn’t understand what Kevin was going through, but comfort him the best they could. They couldn't understand what caused this and what went wrong. They wanted to know, especially Kevin.


	2. Chapter 2

"What happened to her?" Brian asked.

"She somehow caught the disease and it killed her instantly. I’m so sorry." The doctor left the room.

The boys didn’t know what to do or think. They didn’t know what to say or what to do to help Kevin with his loss. He just lost his wife! His one and only thing for living in this world. They couldn't even imagine what he was going through, but Brian tried to put himself in Kevin’s shoes if he lost Leighanne. He couldn't even imagine the pain Kevin was dealing with. He wanted to be there for his cousin in every way he could.

"What am I going to do without her?" Kevin asked. 

“SSh, we are here for you Kev." Brian replied. The others left to let Brian and Kevin have some time alone. 

"You all right?" Brian asked.

"What am I going to do without her Brian? She is my reason for living. The reason I love life. The reason I get up every morning and sleep every night. I don’t know how I am going to go on without her."

"It’s okay Kevin. Time will help you heal. And you have all of us. You have your family and your friends. You are never alone. Just take all the time you need to grieve. Don’t worry about work.” Brian said softly.

"I'm so glad the album is done." Kevin replied. Brian nodded in agreement. AJ had taken on the responsibility in calling management and letting them know they were taking a few days off.

"Thank you for being here." Kevin said. 

"We will always be here for each other as long as we are living." Brian replied.

All the boys gave Kevin a hug and said their goodbyes. Brian offered to stay with him but Kevin said he needed time alone and Brian respected that. So, they all went back to Kev and Kristin's house and left Kevin alone at the hospital to be with his wife.

When Kevin came home later that night the boys agreed to stay the night with Kevin to help him through his first night without his wife. The next day, Brian, A.J., and Nick packed up their stuff and headed home. Even though it was very difficult for them to leave Kevin's side, they knew he needed time alone to grieve and they all wanted to go home and be with the ones they loved. Howie was going to stay in town a few days to help Kevin out any way he could.

Brian's plane finally touched down and he was so glad to be home. Leighanne and Baylee were going to meet him there and take him home.

"Daddy! Daddy!!!!" Baylee said, as he ran into Brian's arms. Brian hugged him as tight as he could. 

"Man I missed you so much pooper!" 

Leigh walked up to Brian and he gave her a long slow kiss. 

"I missed you so much baby.” Brian said softly, as he looked into his wife’s eyes.

"I missed you too.” She replied back.

"Daddy!! Daddy!!" Baylee said in his cute little voice to get Brian’s attention. 

"I'm sorry son. I am really sick and I don’t want you to catch it. Leighanne, can you please make sure he doesn’t get near me as much as I am dying him to? I don’t want him to get what I have. Just until I am better?” Brian asked his wife as he looked into her eyes. 

"Come here baby." Leighanne said, picking Baylee up. Baylee couldn't understand why his daddy was trying to stay away from him. 

"I heard about Kristin." Leighanne said softly. 

"I know. I just-” Brian said with a sigh, "I just don’t know what to do. I mean I want to help him so badly. I want to be there for him.... I just want to...."

Brian’s lips started shaking and his eyes start welling up with tears. “ I just can’t imagine what he is going through. I don’t know what I would do without you or Baylee. I just...can't imagine it." 

Leighanne set Baylee on the couch and grabbed Brian in her arms.

"Baby its okay. We just need to help him through this and be there for him in every way we can. “Kevin has so many people who love him so he's not alone.” “And baby, don’t worry, you’ll never be without me."


	3. Chapter 3

The news of Kristin's death spread fast and like always, the fans where there for support. Kevin and the other never realized just how supportive the fans really were. They had a small funeral for Kristin. Kevin didn't know what he would have done if the guys and his family hadn't been there for him, but he was getting worried about his cousin. Brian still wasn't feeling good. Kevin didn't know if he could handle losing another family member.

"Brian, Kevin's on the phone." Leighanne called out for Brian. "Yeah, he hasn’t been doing too good. Still sick.” “I don’t get it cause he's been taking his medicine and I have been having him rest 24/7."Leighanne whispers into the phone. 

Brian picked up the phone on the other line. "Thanks babe, I got it" He coughed. Leighanne hung up the phone.

“Hey cuz." Brian said. 

"Still not feeling well?" Kevin asked. 

"No." He coughed again. "Sorry bout that." 

"It's okay."

"I just wanted to see how you were feeling." 

"I'm not feeling any better and I don't know why."

"I am doing everything the doctors told me too, taking my medicine, getting rest and poor Leigh has been making me all my meals and taking care of me and Baylee at the same time. I still can't believe I'm not better yet!" He sneezed. "Sorry"

"It's okay." Kevin replied. "I'll let you go and get some rest okay." 

"Okay." Brian said. 

"Bye." 

"Bye." 

Brian hung up the phone. He felt sick and bolted to the bathroom. He finished getting sick and flushed the toilet. Brian was glad Leighanne hadn't heard or seen him. He had a feeling he knew what was wrong but wasn't ready to tell anyone yet.

“Hey babe, you ready for your soup?!" Leigh yelled up the stairs. "Daddy." Baylee looked at Leigh with his sad little face. It hurt Leighanne seeing the hurt in both Brian and Baylee's eyes from not being able to see each other, but Brian and Leighanne knew this was the best thing to do. "I'll be right back baby ok? Gotta give daddy his soup." She put Baylee in his playpen and went upstairs to give Brian his soup.

He made sure he was cleaned up and in bed. He knew he would have to tell them soon. Leighanne came in with his soup, he wasn't hungry but was going to try and eat it. 

"Hey baby." She said, walking over to him. 

"Hi." 

Leighanne sat his soup down so he could get to it. He took the soup from her. 

"How's Baylee?" He knew he could be around his son for now, but he still was a little scared to be around him.

"He is missing you like crazy. Just like you are for him. This is killing me Brian, having you two be apart like this." Leigh answered. 

"I know baby but we can't risk it." Brian said. 

"I know. I just hate this!" 

"Don’t worry. I should be better soon and everything will go back to normal"

Leighanne leaned in to give him a kiss. Brian kisses her back softly. "Do you think you can just see him for a few minutes?" Leighanne asked, looking up at her husband. Brian thought about it. 

"Yeah, but just for a few minutes." Leighanne smiled and went down to get Baylee. She brought him back up the stairs. 

"Daddy!!!" Baylee squealed, trying to get out of his mom's grip. Leighanne put him down and he ran as fast as he could to get to Brian. He couldn't get on the bed cause it was too high for him so Leighanne picked him up.

He crawled over to Brian's outstretched arms. "Hey buddy." Brian said, hugging his son. 

"Daddy!!!!" Baylee yelled with excitement

Brian was so happy. "I've missed you." 

"Have you been good for mommy?" 

Baylee nodded.

"Good! That's my big boy isn't it?" Brian said with a smile he was trying to force through his illness. Brian had to let out a cough. "Daddy okay?" Baylee asked, as he looked at Brian with his sad little puppy eyes.

"No buddy, daddy still is very sick." Brian replied. He was trying to hide his tears. He had a feeling he would never get to see Baylee grow up. Leighanne had snuck out to give Father and Son some time alone.

 

Leighanne stood by the door to listen to the conversation between father and son. "Daddy?" Baylee was still confused why his dad wasn't running around with him and playing with him. It hurt Brian to see the confusion and sadness in his son’s eyes. Brian had to let out a tear.

He wiped his face. "What buddy?"

"Daddy really sick." Baylee said in his little baby voice. 

"Just for a little while buddy. Just for a little while." Brian paused and realized he needed to tell his wife what he was thinking and feeling. He looked up and saw Leighanne standing outside the door looking at Brian and Baylee. Her mascara had smeared and Brian knew that his wife felt there was something wrong by seeing the tears on her face.

How do you tell someone you love that you might die? Brian was praying for a miracle, but had a feeling it wouldn't come this time. 

“Is daddy going to get better?" Baylee asked.

"Daddy's going to try." Brian replied.

Brian looked at his son with a tear in his eye and looked back at Leighanne. He knew he had to tell her and he knew he had to do it soon. Brian didn’t want to let go of Baylee but he didn’t want to keep him near him longer and risk it." “Ok buddy. Daddy needs his sleep. Go ahead and go with mommy."

"Okay daddy." Brian helped Baylee down and watched him walk slowly to his mom. He didn't want to leave his dad. 

"Night daddy." 

"Night buddy."

Brian almost let out all his feeling right then and there. He didn’t even want to hear that he didn’t have long to live. He didn’t want to know that what he was thinking was true. He just didn’t want to imagine not being by Leighanne's side till they grew old and watched Baylee and their future children grow up and have grandchildren. He didn’t even want to think about it but that was all that was in his mind. He knew he had the disease, he could just feel it.

Baylee got to Leighanne and she picked him up. 

"I'll wake you up in a little while." Leighanne said. 

Brian nodded and snuggled down into the blankets. When he heard the door shut, he let the tears out. He had to get out of there before Leighanne and Baylee caught this. He didn't want them to get this either. Nick had offered to let him stay with him in a separate part of his house. Brian didn't want Nick getting this either if he could help it.

Later that night, Leighanne moved closer to Brian and laid her head down on his chest. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. 

"Hey there." He said softly.

"Hey baby." She whispered back. She knew there was something Brian was keeping from her and she hated the fact of this act he was playing. She knew this was more than just a cold.

Brian kissed the side of her head and buried his head into her hair. "Brian, tell me what's wrong." 

"What do you mean baby? I'm just a little sick. I'll get over it." Brian said with his lips shaking trying to hold in the tears. 

"Brian you need to tell me!!!" Leighanne raised up her voice. She was sick of her husband not telling her. Her voice wasn't filled with anger. She was full of worries for him. 

Brian sighed. "I just have a cold okay baby." "I'll be better soon." He hated lieing to her, but he wasn't ready to tell her yet. 

"Okay. Just know I'm here for you." She replied. 

"I know."


	4. Chapter 4

Leighanne awoke and turned over to wrap her arms around Brian and realized he wasn’t there. She got up from the noises she just couldn't ignore. She started to head towards the noises. She saw the bathroom light on and opened the door. Leighanne saw Brian on the floor throwing up. He was panting hard and his face was very flushed. 

"Oh my God." Leighanne went into shock for a moment and covered her mouth with her hand in disbelief. She was shocked to see how ill he really was.

"Oh baby...come here…" She ran to Brian.

"No." He said, moving away from her. "Don't come near me." 

Leighanne couldn't believe what he was saying. "Brian, what's wrong?" She asked.

"Baby listen to me and please do what I ask." He said, looking up at her before he had to let go of some more wastes.

"But.. Brian…"She stuttered

He threw up again before answering her. "No!" He said firmly. "Go to the bedroom and I will explain." 

Leighanne nodded and left the bathroom.

She went to Baylee's room to check on him and thank goodness the angel was still sleeping. She gave Baylee a kiss on the forehead and walked back to their bedroom. Brian cleaned up and cleaned the awful taste out of his mouth. The disease wasn't contagious yet, but it was getting very close. He let out a big breath and headed back into the bedroom.

"Are you okay?" Leighanne asked.

"No." Brian replied. He walked over to the bed and sat down on it. "Leigh, I'm very sick and I don't think I'm going to get better."

"What do you mean?" she asked Brian in confusion.

He looked into her eyes. "I think I have the disease."

"The disease?" She knew what Brian was talking about but had to question about it. "The disease that Kristin died from and that has killed millions of others?"

"Yes." Brian replied.

"Why do you think that?" Leighanne asked, helping her husband lay down into bed and pulling the blankets over him.

He pulled her to him. "Because I'm not getting any better, I'm getting worse."

"I know but lets not jump to the worse and think that is what it is okay? We don’t know for sure.” She said as she kissed his forehead

He sighed and smiled. He had this feeling he had it but was willing to make sure. "How bout we make an appointment with the doctor just to be sure."

"Baby, I was just about to say that." She smiled back at him. Every time Brian smiled it would just fill her with happiness. Even though Brian was very ill, you would always see a smile across his face when he was with Leigh and Baylee.

Brian pulled her down and kissed her. "I love you." 

"I love more.." She whispered.

Brian grinned and rubbed his nose across hers. "Okay, I'll call tomorrow."

"Okay. Now you get your rest and I am going to go and get that little angel out of bed and give him a bath." 

Brian was feeling really bad because he loved giving Baylee baths. It was their own little special time and since he’d been sick, Leighane had been taking care of the both of them. He could see the exhaustion in her eyes.

Brian wanted to give him a bath so bad. He was very afraid to be around him since he had started to throw up more. He was even afraid to be around Leighanne. 

"I miss giving him baths."

"I know you do baby. He misses you too. We both do. No offense, but your usually the one who is bouncing off the walls 24/7." 

"Yeah." Brian agreed and they both broke out with laughter. 

"Ok. I will let you get some sleep and I will wake you up at lunch time."

"Okay, I love you baby." Brian said, snuggling under the covers.  
Leighanne left the room and Brian fell into a deep sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

The Next Day

Brian and Leighanne walked into the doctor's office. Brian signed in and sat down beside her. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it, smiling weakly up at her. Nick had offered to watch Baylee for them.

"You nervous?" Leigh asked while rubbing Brian's leg trying to comfort him.

"Yeah." Brian replied, looking into her eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too, but Brian don’t start doing this. Don’t start thinking the worst. Not yet."

"I'm trying not to but it's hard." They sat there in silence waiting for his name to be called.

"Brian Littrell..." The nurse called his name and they got a sick feeling in their stomachs. "Ok.. Go ahead and go." She kissed Brian softly. "I'll be here"

"I want you to go with me." He said, standing up. "I'm scared." He whispered.

"Ok, don’t worry baby. I'll go with you. Am I allowed to?

Brian nodded and they walked to the back room. "The doctor will be with you soon." The nurse pulled the door shut.

Leighanne tried to stay strong for Brian at that very moment looking at him sitting, waiting for the doctor, but inside, she was about to breakdown. She had never been so scared in her life and she had a feeling this wasn’t going to be good news.

The door opened and the doctor walked in. "Hello, I'm Doctor Brown." He said, putting out his hand so Brian could shake it. "Nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too." Brian said, as he tried to keep from shaking so much. Leighanne had never seen him this nervous since his heart surgery. He looked down at her and she could see the fear in his eyes. She gave him a smile and mouthed "I love you..."

"Love you too." He mouthed back. "Okay" Doctor Brown said, "how long have you been sick?" He asked Brian.

“I’ve been sick for about 4 weeks now.”

The doctor ran some tests and told them he would call them with the results. Brian also told him he thought he had the disease and Doctor Brown agreed with him. "If that is the case, you wife shouldn't be around you. The disease can become contagious at anytime."

"So, do you suggest I get away from them as soon as possible? How am I supposed to do that?” “I can't leave my wife and my son. I cant do that to them and to myself..."Brian paused because his eyes started tearing up and he realized what the doctor was telling him what he had to do.

The doctor sighed. "It's the only way, unless you want them to catch this also."

"Ok, I understand. So there is absolutely no cure in this?" Brian's hands started shaking and he was becoming more and more closer to losing it. "How long do you think I have?"

"No there's no cure." He could tell Brian was about to lose it. "I can't tell you how long you have because it's been killing people differently." "Like your cousin's wife." Brian and Leighanne looked up at him. "Yes, I heard. She was the first case to be killed instantly."

Leighanne couldn't understand why there was no way her husband could be saved. She couldn't understand why God was doing this to them. She didn’t know why the Heavens needed him. He was her angel. Her reason for loving life so much. As she looked up at Brian, and listened to what the doctor was telling them, she couldn't take it anymore. She had to let it out, she had a breakdown and begged Brian not to leave her.

"Brian don’t leave me alone...Please don’t go...I cant go on without you....Brian please don’t go!...."

"Oh baby." He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. The doctor slipped out the door and shut it to give them some privacy. "Sshh, baby." "I don't want to leave you or Baylee, but I'm not going to put your lives in danger."

"I don’t understand this. I don’t understand why there is no way they can help you. I don’t understand why I need to let you go and die. I don’t get it. This is the craziest thing I ever heard. I can't take care of you and I have to let you walk out of my life and have you leave the life you have behind you and let yourself die. I don’t agree with this Brian! I just don't...." Leighanne's tears were coming one after another.

She couldn't stop, she was scared to death. scared of what the future held

"Leighanne, please calm down baby." He said softly, rocking her back and forth. "I don't understand it either but there are some things in life that weren't meant to be understood."

"Brian...when it comes to you and Baylee...I need reasons. But I guess...if it is the best for all of us...then I am going to have you go in God's hands and step back. No matter how much this kills me."

"I don't want to leave you and you know that." "If I stay and you guys get it, Baylee will be the first one of the three of us to die."

"I know Brian. That is why I understand now. I'm with you and I am always by your side and if you say it is the best for all of us...Then I understand." Brian wiped her tears away, then his, and kissed her face. 

"Come on, let's leave." Brian stood up and took Leighanne's hand. "I need to call the guys and let them know what's going on."

"Ok." She held Brian's hand tight and walked by his side with her head on his shoulder. Both of them scared of what was next

The walked out of the doctor's office and to the car. Brian helped her in and shut her door before getting in himself and driving off. On the way home, Brian called the other guys and told them to meet him at their house and that it was important. 

They all said they would be their as soon as possible. Brian and Leighanne waited for the guys to show up.

Nick and AJ had been the first ones to arrive then later that night, Kevin and Howie had joined them. 

"Okay, I've been on pins and needles all day." Nick said. "What's going on?" 

Leighanne had taken Baylee upstairs and stayed with him. 

It was to hard for her to hear Brian explain it to the guys and to see their reactions. 

"Oh. I have a feeling this isn't going to be good news." AJ said as he sat down. "Rok, what's wrong?"

Brian was chewing on his lower lip and looked up at the others. "Leighanne and I went to the doctor's today to see why I'm still sick." Brian paused then continued. " I have what Kristin had. It's not contagious yet but it's close."

"Oh my God." They all sat in silence, shocked by what Brian said. AJ was the first to get up an he grabbed Brian as tight as he could. The rest were still in shock.

Brian hugged AJ back like he never had before. "Oh God Rok." AJ was going to lose it and he hardly ever let anyone see him cry. 

"I don’t believe this. why? Why does this have to happen to you? to Kristin? I just don’t understand." AJ said as his tears started coming one after another. Howie looked over at Kevin and saw how bad Kevin was taking it. He lost his wife and now he was about to lose another loved one. AJ and Brian both walked over to Kevin and grabbed him in their arms. Nick and Howie followed along and they were all hugging each other as tight as they could, letting their emotions come out.

Kevin was taking it the hardest and when it really hit Nick, he would be just as bad if not worse as Kevin. "I'm so scared guys." Brian confessed. 

"We know." Howie said, as he grabbed Brian in his arms and rubbed his back. "We all are. What about Leighanne and Baylee? what are you going to do?"

"I need to get out of here before they catch this also." Brian replied. "I'm just going to get worse as the days go on." 

"That is what the doctors told you? You have to be away from human life until you die?" AJ asked.

Brian nodded. "It's to dangerous for me to be around anyone."

"I don’t get this world anymore man. I just don’t get it. Hospitals and doctors these days. No cure...no help. They are just going to let you rot and die like your a piece of fruit." AJ said as he looked at a recent family photo of Brian, Leighanne, and Baylee had taken. All five guys looked at the picture AJ was holding and looked back at Brian. By this time they didn’t think there were any more tears they could let out but it happened again.

"I know it sound cruel, but they don't even know how the disease got here." "I know it doesn't sound fair." Brian calmed down and sighed.

"I guess there are some things in this world that can't have reasons for and I trust you Brian for what you say you have to do. I'll miss you man.” AJ grabbed Brian and hugged the other four. "I'm going to go upstairs and say bye to Leighanne and Baylee. I think we should leave you guys alone and talk to our management and stuff and tell them the news. 

Brian nodded. He watched the others follow AJ up. He looked up and saw Nick still standing there. "Nick." He got up and walked over to him. Nick grabbed him and hugged him tight. "Oh Frick."

"I know this is hard and I know you guys have every reason not to understand why I have to do this but its just one of those things that "just is" and we have to accept it." Brian said as he hugged Nick.

"I know." He didn't let Brian go and Brian didn't want him to. "Where are you going to go?" Nick asked.

"I haven't even thought about it yet. All I know is I can't stay here. Leighanne is having a hard time accepting that she can't take care of me and that I can't be around anybody.” She said if it wasn't for Baylee she would take the risk and take care of me, even if she risked getting it. I don’t know Nick.“ Brian sighed. “I don’t know what I'm going to do. This feels like it is all happening all to soon."

Nick slowly let go of Brian. "I have a place you could stay." "It's not part of the main house." "You could stay there until you get to the point where you have to go to the hospital." Nick had done his own research on the disease.

"Nick, I can't risk you getting it" Brian said as he watched the other guys walk back down the stairs.

"I don't want to see you in the hospital so soon." Nick replied softly.

"Ok, but are you sure it wont be around you? I don’t want to risk you getting it."

Nick nodded. "It has everything you need except a washer and dryer." "You can put your dirty clothes in a bag and leave it outside your door and I'll wash and dry them for you."

"Ok. Thanks Nick.” Brian said, as he gave Nick a hug. "Umm...Brian we should get going, your wife isn’t taking it to well so I think you should go up there and be with Leighanne and Baylee as much as you can before you have to leave." AJ said as he was wiping his nose. They all hugged Brian bye and told him they loved him and that they would call him once he gets settled in to the place that would be his new home for a while.

Brian told Nick he would call him the tomorrow to tell him when he would be on his way. They drove off and Brian let out another tear.


	6. Chapter 6

Brian shut the door and locked it. Shutting the lights off, he headed upstairs to Baylee’s room. He stood in the doorway and watched his wife with their son. He was going to miss them so much. He shook his thoughts away and walked in. "How are my two favorite people in the world?"

Leighanne turned around and you could see the sadness in her heart. 

"Hey baby...c'mon now its okay." Brian said as he went over to hug her.

"No, it's not okay." She whimpered. "Come on, let's get Baylee to bed okay."

"Ok." Brian said as he started to sing. He grabbed Leighanne’s hand and look down at his son and sang him "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and watched his son fall into dreamland. Brian only hoped that his son would know one day why he had to do this. Brian kissed his son on the forehead and played with his son's hair very gently. Brian had to wipe his eyes cause the tears started coming down again.

Leighanne was taking in every moment she could because tomorrow, Brian would be gone, living somewhere else. She knew he was doing this to save hers and Baylee’s lives but it didn't make it any easier.

Brian looked back at Leigh and then he kissed Baylee once more and held onto his son's hand for a moment. He leaned in and kissed every finger on his son's hands. Brian's tears kept coming. He couldn't believe that he was leaving this life. 

Brian willed himself from his son and walked back over to Leighanne. She ran into his arms and he wrapped them around her. He led her out of their son's room, shutting the door behind him. 

"Let's get ready for bed.” Brian said.

They walked hand in hand to their bedroom. As they walked, Brian kept his head looking back to Baylee’s room. Leighanne squeezed his hand softly. 

They got to their bedroom and got ready for bed. Leighanne laid down first, and then Brian slipped in behind her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her to him.

"I love you so much." He said as his lips started shaking and tears started coming down. 

"I know you do...I know." She said as she kissed away his tears

He buried his head in the crook of her neck. She ran her hand through his hair. "I wish there was another way." Brian said. "A way where I can stay with you and Baylee." 

"I know you do. We both do. Brian this is not fair. I don’t know how we are going to make it without you. I just cant..."She kissed his forehead and wiped a tear.

He looked up at her. "You will have to move on, just don't forget me." He ran his shaky hand down her cheek. "You will be able to make it, you will have the other guys and mine and your family." "I know it's not the same."

"Brian...I can't move on. Please don't say that. That hurts me more. Brian we had our plans. I want to grow old with you. I want us to have more children and share the joy of having grandchildren. Brian without you...My life is just...." Leighanne tried to contain herself. "I just don’t know what I will do..."

"I know baby, but our lives are already planned out for us." "Please, when I leave, both in a few days and when I leave the world, try and find happiness again." "Raise our boy the way we always planned we would raise him."

"I will Brian. I promise you. I don't promise to move on, but I do promise I will stay here for Baylee and be there for him every waking second. Ever since he was born, he became our life and I will make sure it stays that way." She said as they caressed each other’s hands. Brian memorizing every inch of her hand

"Thank you. I know it'll be hard at first, but the pain will go away and you will heal." This is why we shouldn't take life for granted because you just never know." They never broke eye contact. 

"I love you so much!!..." She said as she started kissing Brian softly. 

He kissed her back. "I love you too and I will always be here." He put his hand up against her heart. "I hope one day Baylee will be able to understand why I did this."

"Don’t worry Brian. Your a hero to him and you will continue to be whether your here or not. Please promise me you will never leave us. Promise me I will know you are here. Please Brian...You can't leave us alone.” she said as she looked into his deep blue eyes.

"I'll always be here, I promise and I will continue to watch over you when I'm in Heaven." He decided to tell her where he was going. "Nick has offered to let me stay in a small separate house that he has on his property."

"Ok but your not going to be near him right? Brian I don’t want him being at risk"

"No” he said, “I won’t be near him."

"Okay." She said with a sigh.

"I'm sorry. I'm going to end up in the hospital eventually, but I'm not ready to go yet."

"I understand. I know. This would've been the perfect time to build a pool house on our property," She said as a little smirk came across her face. "Its ok. I understand. But you need to promise me you will call Baylee and I every day and always think of us.

"I'll call as much as I can and you can always call me. And you know you guys are all I ever think about.”

“You better Mr. Littrell! She said as she gave him this sexy grin. "I will mail you new photos we have taken and whenever you need me you better call. I am going to be calling every day to talk to you and get an update. I really don’t like that you’re not going into the hospital yet"

Brian grinned softly. "I'll be looking forward to all of that and I promise to go before it gets really bad."

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

Leighanne gave Brian a slow soft kiss and laid her head down on his chest. She wanted to hear every heartbeat he had. Brian ran his fingers through her hair and whispered to her "I love you" as many times as he could. Leigh fell asleep and Brian watched as his dear wife slept.

Brian, Leighanne, and Baylee were going to spend Brian's last day together, doing everything they could. Kevin had called to let Brian know that he had taken care of the press and management. Brian was very grateful for that. Brian and Leighanne were out back watching Baylee run around with Tyke and Litty.

Since the stress about having the press and the fans find out about his illness was off Brian’s chest, more stress began. As he sat down with Leighanne on his lap and watched Baylee run around, he realized this was his last days with them. His last moments and he wanted to take it all in. This was the hardest thing he would ever have to do. He didn’t completely understand why there was no way the doctors could help him and why he wouldn’t be able to wake up everyday next to his wife and spend his life with her and be the best husband and father he could be. It killed him every time he looked at his son knowing he would never see him grow and share the memories with Leighanne. That is the worst thing you could tell a man. To tell him he couldn’t be with his wife and son would be like telling him to stop breathing air. That is what Brian lived for and the main reason he loved life. Baylee and Leighanne were his reason for living. Brian didn’t understand why God was taking his world away from him but he did understand the reason he had to leave and that was to keep Leighanne and Baylee safe and that was the only reason he needed to know.

 

"Daddy! Daddy!" Baylee cried, running over to them. "Come play with me." He pulled on Brian's arm trying to get him to get up. 

Brian put all of his thoughts aside and Leighanne got off of Brian's lap. Brian grabbed Baylee with both of his arms and held Baylee up in the air tickling him like crazy. It brought a smile to both Brian and Leighanne's faces when Baylee started laughing. 

"Daddy!" Baylee giggled. Brian put him down and he went to go get his little basketball. He wanted Brian to pick him up so he could shoot the ball into the goal.

"Son, I don’t know if I have that much strength." Brian said as he looked at Baylee's sad face. "Oh alright, Of course! What was I thinking?" Brian gave Leigh a kiss and grabbed Baylee's hand as they walked hand in hand to the basket. Leigh smiling watching the resemblance of the way they both walked.

Brian picked his son up and Baylee threw the ball. It went in. "Good job son." Baylee grinned ear to ear. 

"Yeah daddy!!!" Baylee said in excitement looking at Brian. "Your turn!! Your turn!" Brian looked at Baylee. 

"Ok...Just one shot and then we're going to go inside okay?" 

"Okay daddy." Baylee said handing the ball to Brian. Brian did an easy lay-up and no matter how easy the shot was, it always made his son happy.

"You made it daddy!!! You made it!!!" Baylee started jumping around. Brian grabbed his son in his arms and gave him a kiss

"Daddy!!" Baylee said, wiping his dad's kiss off of his cheek. It made Brian chuckle. "Okay, time to go in."

Brian and Baylee walked over to Leigh and Brian grabbed her hand as they went inside. Baylee let go of Brian's hand and he ran up to his room. Brian watched him climb up the stairs, making sure he didn't fall. 

"Come on daddy. Time to read me a story." Baylee said, as he looked back at Brian. "Don't worry, I'm coming"

The day had gone too fast. Brian followed Baylee into his room while Leighanne went into their room to get ready for bed. She wanted Brian to have as much time with his son as he could.

"This story daddy! "Baylee said as he grabbed his book. 

"Ok, but I want to talk to you first son okay?" 

"Ok daddy." Baylee said as Brian grabbed him and put him on his lap. Brian was speechless at first while looking at his son in the eyes till he started to cry. 

"Daddy okay?" Baylee said as he put his hand on Brian's face. 

"I love you so much!" Brian said as he hugged Baylee closer to him

"I love you too daddy." Baylee was so confused. "Don't cry daddy." "You make me cry too."

"I don’t know what I am going to do without you Baylee." Brian said as he rubbed his hand softly on Baylee's cheek. "Know that I will never leave you okay? I will be here forever. Watching over you. Watching you turn from a baby boy, to a man, and to a daddy and husband yourself. And a grandpa as well one day. I wish I will be able to be here for all that but I will be there in spirit and seeing everything, "Brian said as Baylee looked at him with a confused look

"Daddy?" Baylee asked. He didn't understand why his dad was telling him all this. "Is daddy going away to get better?"

"Oh I wish buddy. I know you’re too young to understand all of this but I want you to know I love you more than anything in the world. You and mommy both. I want you to be a good boy for mommy okay? Help take care of her okay? Make you mother and I proud.” Brian's tears couldn't stop coming and Brian felt it in his throat

"I will, I'll take good care of mommy." Baylee promised. Baylee laid his head down on Brian's chest and cuddled as close as he could to his dad. "Heart daddy...Heart." Baylee could hear Brians' heart beating through his chest

"Yeah, that's daddy's heart." He took Baylee's hand and placed it over the little boy's own heart. "Feel that?" "That's your heart."

"Yeah it is. My heart huh?"

Baylee said as he smiled and looked up. Brian looked over and saw Leighanne standing by the door. Brian could tell she snuck up to listen in the beginning. Her eyes were filled with tears and she was trying to control herself. "Where's mommy's heart?" Baylee said as he looked at Brian and pointed to Leighanne.

"Mommy's heart is where yours is." Brian said. 

"Mommy, can I feel your heart?" Baylee asked. Leighanne walked over to Brian and Baylee. Leighanne got on her knees and Brian grabbed Baylee's hand and put it on Leighanne's heart.

"Yeah mommy's heart," Leighanne stuttered as she looked up at Brian and gave Baylee a kiss.

"Okay time for bed big guy." Brian said, getting up with Baylee.

"Ok daddy." Brian held Baylee in front of Leighanne so she could give him a kiss. "Night mommy," Baylee said. 

"Goodnight sweetheart," She said as she watched Brian put Baylee in his crib. She grabbed Brian's hand and they kissed Baylee goodnight and sang him to sleep for the last time together. 

"Goodnight buddy." Brian said as he glanced at his son knowing it would be one of his last times. "I love you.” 

“I love you too daddy.”

They walked out of Baylee's room and Brian pulled the door shut softly. He had to force his hand to let go of the doorknob. Brian and Leighanne silently made their way back to their bedroom.

"Are you okay?" Leighanne asked as she grabbed Brian closer to her hugging him as tight as she could. Brian crying very loudly

"No." He confessed softly. They were sitting on their bed. "I don't want to leave tomorrow."

"I know you don't. We don’t want you to either but you know why you have to. We all know why."

"I know." He looked up at Leighanne. "I love you so much."

"I love you too.” She said as she caressed his face.

He nuzzled his face up against the palm of her hand. Both of them crying trying to contain themselves.

He reached up and ran his hand down her face. Looking into her eyes. They both knew this would be the last time they would sleep side by side.

He started kissing every inch of her face, holding her face in his hands very gently

She started to run her hands up and down his back softly. She didn't know how she would go on without him. 

She looked up into his eyes and whispered, "I love you. Your the only one I will ever love"

"I love you too, but I want you to be happy after I'm gone." 

She didn’t want to hear Brian say that again. She knew she wouldn't be happy after he was gone .Not like how he wants her to. She looked into his eyes with tears in her eyes and started kissing him slowly and softly as he ran his hand up and down her back.  
He kissed her back softly. "Baby, I didn't mean how it came out. I just don't want you to lock yourself away from the world." He ran his hands up her pajama shirt softly.

She whispered, "I know...."She knew there was no way this night could be ruined. Each time Brian touched her and kissed her, it was like the first time. Each stroke of his hand made her worries go away one by one.

"Brian." Leighanne whimpered. He loved when his name fell from her mouth like this.

He looked her in the eyes and dried her tears. He kissed her very slowly and softly started at her forehead. He kissed his way down to her neck and whispered into her ear the lyrics to his song he wrote to her. 

"Beautiful you are...compassionate is she..."

She listened to him sing her song. "You have made me what I am…She's all I hope to be."

He ran his fingers down her neck to her heart. She pulled her head back as he caressed her.

"You are everything to me. You saved my life when I wouldn't have surgery for my heart." "I love you." He said softly. "Brian, make love to me… please."

He wiped the tears from his eyes and whispered, "I'm your man," into her left ear. He ran his hand down her face and then up and down her back pulling her shirt off slowly and gently

She let him take it off of her. She started to run her hands down his chest. "You will be the only one for me, no one else."

She took his shirt off and kissed his mouth slowly and ran her lips down to his chest kissing every inch. She looked up at him with a smile. 

He smiled back at her and moaned. "Oh baby."

As they caressed and kissed each other softly they found themselves slowly taking the rest of their garments off. "Your so beautiful." Brian said softly, as he looked her over like it was their first time.

Leighanne felt her heart overflowing again just like it was the day they met. She couldn't believe how much she loved him. She grabbed him and pulled her over him while stroking her finger up and down his back and kissing his shoulder.

He nuzzled his head inside the crook of her neck. He slowly slid himself inside of her. He couldn't believe this would be the last time.

As he put himself into her, his heart, body, mind, and soul, he felt her love overflowing all over him. He wanted to feel her in his soul. He was so in love with her. Every time he looked into her eyes, he was lost in her. They never lost eye contact as he moved in and out of her, their hearts and souls reconnecting like they did every time they made love.

Leighanne let out a cry, "Brian...I love you so much." She pulled him into her closer, wanting him into her as far as he can go. He started shaking. She kissed his forehead and ran her fingers up and down his back and looked him in the eye. "Are you okay baby?” He looked at her. "Yes. I want to make love to you until all our strength is gone."

Leighanne nodded. "I wouldn't have it any other way." She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper inside of her.

As he pulled in and out of her he whispered sweet love words into her ear making her want him more. 

"Oh Brian." She whimpered. She wanted him to let go the same time she did. 

He started to slow down. He didn’t want it to end. He got out of her and sat up. Bringing her over to him. He put her bottom side on his front kissing every inch of her back as he thrust her back and forth slowly

He continued to make love to her well into the night. Finally, both were wiped out and fell asleep in each other's arms for the last time.


	7. Chapter 7

Brian awoke with Leighanne laying on his chest. All his worries went away last night as he and Leigh made love for the last time but all the fear came running back again. He looked at Leigh and kissed her forehead, already wanting to cry.

She woke up slowly, looking up into his eyes. "Hey." She said softly.

“Morning beautiful."

She blushed and smiled softly. "Thank you for last night."

"Baby, you know you don’t have to thank me. I'm your man. That night is going to last forever in my heart"

"Mine too." She said. She moved as close to him as she could. She didn't want him to leave, but knew he had to. Leighanne was enjoying the last few minutes she had with him.

She was so thankful for all the memories they have made and she didn’t want it to end.

"I love you, don't ever doubt it." "If I didn't, I would stay here and put both of your lives at risk and I'm not going to do that." Brian said. "I'm already worried about putting Nick at risk, but I'm not ready to be put in the hospital."

"I know baby." She said, as she ran her hand up and down his chest kissing it softly.

Brian closed his eyes and sighed, loving the feel of her hands on his chest. "I need to call Nick and let him know I'm on my way."

"Okay.” She said as she started to cry.

"Oh baby." He knew he was going to have to force his feet to walk out the front door. He pulled her over to him, holding her tight.

"I don’t know how I can let you go." She said as she was holding him. rocking back and forth trying to contain herself.

"I know baby. I don't want to walk out the front door, walk out of yours and Baylees lives."

"You'll be here." She said as she grabbed his hand and put it over her heart.

He was going to lose it again. "Yes, I'll be here and in Baylee’s heart as well."

"I love you so much baby." She grabbed his face and kissed him long and slowly, taking in every second.

He kissed her back, pouring his love and feelings for her into that one kiss. "I love you too."

They sat in bed for as long as they could taking in every moment trying to stay calm. All Brian and Leighanne wanted to do was make love to each other again but they knew it would make it harder for them to say goodbye and they knew they wanted their last memories with each other to be from last night. 

Finally, Brian made the first move and got up. He put on some clothes and went to call Nick. Leighanne got up and slowly started to pack his suitcase for him. She made sure his Bible was there so he could take it with him. Neither one was upset with God, just didn't understand. She knew Brian wouldn't leave without saying good-bye to Baylee. She didn't even know he had came back into their room until she felt his arms wrap around her.

His loving arms was all she wanted for the rest of her life and knowing that she would never feel them around her ever again just broke her heart to pieces. He buried his face in her hair. He would never forget the way it smelt or how perfectly she fit in his arms. He didn't have any tears left to cry even if her tried. "I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did as long as you love me." He sang softly to her. "I'll never forget the day we met and I'll carry the memories with me for the rest of my life."

"I will too Brian. From the day we met to this day. Thank you so much!" She said as she started to cry. Thankyou so much for giving me life. For loving me and being the best husband ever. You gave me a reason to love life and there is nothing I would ever change of the past. I love you so much and thank you for our beautiful baby boy." She grabbed his shirt and tugged it at while crying on his shoulder.

"You don't have to thank me." "Just promise you won't forget me or let Baylee forget me, even if you do find someone new."

"I promise you.”

"You've made me the happiest man on this Earth. You gave me a baby boy." He looked at her.

“Just promise one thing Brian. Promise me that I never made you want to regret anything. That I loved you the way you wanted to be loved and you could never ask for more. Please Brian. Promise me."

"I promise baby, you've made my life happy and complete." "If I was to go back, I'd do it all over again."

" I love you like I've never loved anyone before." "You will always have my heart." 

Her eyes were hurting so bad but she just couldn't keep the tears in. She looked him in the eyes and said "My heart belongs to you and nobody else. You have my heart now and forever and nobody will touch it but you." She meant every word she said. 

"Just promise that you won't shut the world out." "I know it'll be hard at first but it'll be easier as time goes on." "No one has ever been able to touch my heart like you have and no one ever will. We both went through so much to get where we are today and I would never change any of it."

"I promise you Brian. I will try my best and stay strong for Baylee. I love you..."She kissed him long and soft. They walked hand in hand out of their room to Baylee's room. 

He kissed her back and grabbed his suitcase and walked out with Leighanne, he took one last look at their bedroom. Brian put his suitcase down and walked over to Baylee and picked him up out of his crib. Brushing his hair softly with his hand and kissing his fingers.

“Daddy?" Baylee said, softly

I'm going to miss that voice..."He said with a laughter full of tears

"I'm gonna miss you daddy."

Brian couldn't believe how smart his son was. Even though he was so young, Baylee knew something was wrong and that his dad was leaving him. All Brian wanted to know was that Baylee knew how much his daddy loved him and he is leaving to keep him and his mommy alive. "I'm going to miss you too buddy." Brian pulled Baylee over to him closer and kissed his forehead as he stroked his fingers through his hair.

Brian continued to hold Baylee for a few more minutes. "Does daddy have to go now?" Baylee asked softly.

"Yeah, I think so." Brian let out a tear. He looked at Leighanne as she picked up Brian’s suitcase for him so Brian can carry Baylee downstairs with him.

They silently walked downstairs and to the front door. " I love you buddy." Brian said. 

"I love you too daddy." Baylee replied. Brian handed his son over to Leighanne. 

" I love you so much and I'll call when I get there so you know I made it okay."

"Okay." Leighanne couldn't stop from crying. She kissed Baylee on the forehead and set him down. She ran to Brian and gave him one last long hug and soft kiss. "I love you."

He wrapped his free arm around her and kissed her back. "I love you too and I always will." He slowly let her go. They both knew he needed to go or he would never leave. Brian turned and walked to his car, putting his suitcase in the car, and got in. Brian drove off watching from the rearview mirror. Both his wife and boy was crying and it made him want to turn around, but he didn’t.

Brian pulled up to Nick's house and turn the car off taking a deep breath and wiping his face. He cried the whole way there and the last image he had in his head was as he drove off, looking in his mirror and seeing Leighanne and Baylee cry, watching him drive away.

He got out and grabbed his belongings he brought with him. Nick had heard Brian pull up and came out to greet his best friend. "Hey." Brian said.

"Hey man." Nick looked at Brian with worry. "You okay man? I know that was the hardest part"

“They take it okay?"

"No, but they know I'm doing it to keep them safe." Brian replied. "It was very hard to leave." 

"I know it was Rok. Ok let me show you to your place." Nick took Brian's suitcase for him and led him to the other side of the house.

Brian followed Nick. Nick had no idea how much this meant to Brian. Nick and Brian had made sure everyone who needed to know where Brian was. Nick had also been busy cleaning the little house for Brian so it would look presentable. Nick unlocked to door and let Brian go in first. "I know it's not much, but it's something."

"Yeah its not home, but it's perfect for now man. Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it." "Means a lot to me"

"You're welcome." "I stocked up the fridge and pantry for you. If you run out of something let me know okay."

"Okay. Thanks man. Is there a phone in here? If not, I can just use my cell."

"No, there's one in the bedroom." Nick replied. "I fixed it up to where we know who's calling for who since they both ring when someone calls me."

"Oh ok. You only have one phone line?"

"Yeah, stupid I know, but what do you expect from a blond." Nick grinned.

"It's cool man. No problem. I will just be using to call Leigh and Baylee and they might call here. I need to call them and tell them I made it here so they don’t worry."

"Okay, I'll let you get settled in and if you need anything, just call me." Nick walked out and heard the door shut behind him. Brian shut the door and looked around at his new "home." It finally register with him that this was Nick's way of thanking him for all the years of friendship. Nick had been willing to risk his life so Brian didn't have to go straight into the hospital.

Brian never appreciated Nick more than he did now. Before Brian called Baylee and Leighanne, he took a few pictures out of his suitcase he brought from home. Pictures of him and Leigh and the 3 of them together and pictures of Baylee. Just random pictures he had to have with him. He set them in the places he wanted to, most of them by his headstand by his bed and sat down on the bed.

He picked up the phone and called Leighanne.


	8. Chapter 8

Sometimes late at night  
I lie awake and watch her sleeping  
She's lost in peaceful dreams  
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark  
And the thought crosses my mind  
If I never wake up in the morning  
Would she ever doubt the way I feel  
About her in my heart

Talking on the phone for only an hour with Baylee and Leighanne wasn't   
enough but they both had to say bye sometime. It was hurting the three of   
them all too much just knowing that is the only way they will be able to   
talk. Baylee was getting fussy and Brian and Leighanne both could barely   
talk from trying to keep themselves calm.

He put the phone back down in its cradle and laid back on the bed. He   
looked up at the ceiling and let his mind start to wonder. All he could   
think about was how much he was hurting inside after that phone call. He   
could tell how hard this was on Leighanne by the tone of her voice.

If tomorrow never comes  
Will she know how much I loved her  
Did I try in every way to show her every day  
That she's my only one  
And if my time on earth were through  
And she must face the world without me  
Is the love I gave her in the past  
Gonna be enough to last  
If tomorrow never comes

Brian thought back to when they first met and how easily they had gotten   
along. He also let his mind move on to the times they were apart while he   
was on tour. He would never change those days because that is what they   
built their trust on and how their communication with each other was so   
good. He always believed the time being apart just made their love grow   
stronger and that is exactly what it did.

Despite what some people thought, they had pulled through and showed that   
their love was and still is strong and true. He promised himself that while   
he was still here on Earth, he would make sure Leighanne knew just how much   
he loved her and how much he always would love her.

So I made a promise to myself  
To say each day how much she means to me  
And avoid that circumstance  
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

He tried to show it to her in every way he could. He loved her everyday and   
he took every day he had with her like it was his last.

He just hopes that the love he gave her in the past would last her a   
lifetime and that he did make her as happy as she could be. He never   
doubted it but he just hoped that the love he showed her and gave her was   
more than she could ever hope for.

He kept seeing images throughout his head like the day they met. He   
remembered everything just like it was yesterday. He could see her   
perfectly like it was of her walking up to him and bumping into him and   
saying "hi". And he could feel all the feelings coming throughout his body.   
He remembered their first kiss and how it felt. He kept seeing the image of   
her face when he told her he loved her and he could taste tears in his   
mouth. 

He got shivers up his back when he saw the image of when he proposed   
to her and she said yes. He knew from that day he was set. He remembered   
how he felt when he saw her walk up the isle and when he pulled up her vale   
and they became husband and wife officially with the kiss. He couldn't help   
but cry when he saw in his mind the day they found out they were pregnant   
with Baylee and the day Leigh gave birth to him. All these things went   
through Brian's mind as he cried for Leighanne and Baylee.

He finally fell into a fitful sleep. He knew Leighanne had to feel as   
lonely and empty as he did because the other wasn't there. Brian had also   
noticed that this had taken it's toll on his little boy and that was enough   
to make Brian break down and cry.

If tomorrow never comes  
Will she know how much I loved her  
Did I try in every way to show her every day  
That she's my only one  
And if my time on earth were through  
And she must face the world without me  
Is the love I gave her in the past  
Gonna be enough to last If tomorrow never comes.  
Song Used: “If Tomorrow Never Comes.” By Garth Brooks


	9. Chapter 9

Brian turned over, forgetting he wasn't at home. He didn’t know if he   
would ever get used to not waking up next to Leighanne or  
hearing Baylee's voice. He had been staying at Nick's for the last three   
weeks and he was feeling worse each day.

He groaned and got up, decided to take a nice long shower. He now knew   
how a caged animal felt. He wasn't use to being cooped up all the time like   
this. Even on tour, he was never shut in away from the world like this. He   
had to be depended on others. He knew the other guys were there. He hated   
being away from them. The guys were family to him and he missed them just as   
much as he missed his own family.

Brian had talked to all the guys on the phone, even Nick. Even though Brian   
was on Nick's property he didn't want to risk it. Brian talked to AJ and   
Kevin the most because they were the ones who usually went and checked on   
Leighanne and Baylee. Every time Brian got the scoop on what was happening at   
home it made him even more depressed.

In the house, Nick had stared out the same window for the last twenty   
minutes. He hated this, hated not being able to help his best friend more.   
All the guys were over but it didn't feel right, even though Brian was only   
a few feet away. They couldn't get near him and Nick hated it.

"Nick?" Howie said softly, walking over to his younger friend. Nick looked   
over and saw the sadness in Howie's eyes.

"It's not fair." Nick said.

"Your telling me," AJ said, as he got up and went in the kitchen for a   
drink.

"I feel so bad for him." Kevin said. "I lost my best friend, Kristin, and he   
lost his best friend, Leighanne, and he lost Baylee. Even though he is the   
one dying, it is like he already lost everything and everybody around him.   
It makes it even harder for him. And harder for his family and all of us   
cause who knows what might happen next to him.

Nick finally pilled himself from the window and sat down in one of the   
kitchen table chairs. "I don't want to imagine him not being with us anymore   
right now."  
"Yeah Nick, neither of us do. You think its hard for us? Imagine for his   
mother and father and his wife and son who actually are in his life. They   
had to let him walk out of their door knowing he was dying and knowing they   
couldn't do anything about it." Now that's tough too. We just have to...sit   
back and see what happens. There is nothing we can do man." AJ said putting his arm around Nick.

"I know this is hard for all of us." Nick replied. "Everytime the phone   
rings anymore, I think it's him telling me to call 911." Nick looked up at   
his older brothers. He felt so lost.

"Yeah, I know man. That's scary. And you having to be the one to call his   
wife and son and tell them something happened to him and that he in in the   
ER. I know man your scared. All of us are. But we just have to stay strong   
and stay calm. If you'd like, I will stay here with you. Keep you company   
and if something does happen to him, I will be here to help you with it." AJ   
said

"Thanks J." "You are all more then welcomed to stay." Nick said to Kevin and   
Howie. The others had made sure to let Nick know how proud they were of him   
for letting Brian stay with him for as long as he could. The album would   
still be released, but it would be their last album.

"Man. I just can't see life without Brian. God bless his parents and wife   
and son. Those are the ones who will take it the hardest. I can't even see   
myself without him. I know time will help me heal but he is my best friend.   
He showed me a new meaning in life. What's important and what's not. He is   
the best man I have ever known," AJ said as he started to cry. Wiping his   
tears trying not to make the others cry more.

Nick got up and wrapped his arms around AJ. Brian and AJ had became really   
close and Nick knew what it was like to become close to Brian. "You will   
never find someone like him ever again." Kevin said softly.

"That's right," Howie said as he looked at the floor trying to hold in the   
tears. "All he wanted to do was spend his life being a great husband and   
father. He loved to make music. His music meant so much to his fans and his   
voice, wow his voice! It was like an angel."

"He is an angel." Nick replied. Nick and Brian had made so many memories.   
Brian had taken Nick under his wing and taught him so many things.

"You will never find a voice like that, not in a million years." AJ replied.

"Never find a man like that either." Kevin said. "Never find a man like   
that, a father like that, a husband like that. He is just...the best cousin   
I could ever have. I respect him for the man he has become. The father he   
has become, and the husband he has become. He is just...everything." Kevin   
couldn't take it anymore. This past month and a half has been the hardest,   
first his wife now his cousin.

The other three went over and hugged Kevin, letting him know they were there   
for him and that they were there for each other. Only a miracle could save   
Brian and they all knew it wasn't going to happen this time. It didn't stop   
any of them from hoping though.

"God why the hell does this have to happen?" AJ said as he had so much anger   
in him. squeezing his own hand into a fist so tight it turned red in a   
second

"I don't know AJ." Kevin replied. "Things happen and most of the time we   
can't explain why they happen."

"I know.. but it's just." AJ started to cry more. He got his lips to stop   
shaking. "Why him man?" "Why does it have to be him?" He sat down on the   
couch putting his head down. AJ was taking it so hard.

Every time he went to see Baylee and Leighanne, he saw how much they were   
hurting. It hurt AJ more and to talk to Brian on the phone and to hear him, it   
hurt him so much.

Howie sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around him and pulled him   
into a hug. "This is why Brian never took life for granted, because you just   
never know when your last days on this Earth are."

"I know man. That's why he is my best friend. I could never ask for a better   
man to be around. He knows just what life is about and who could ever ask   
for more?"

"I think he's rubbed off on all of us." Nick said softly.

"Yeah. I know he did for me." “See, with Brian...Everybody he touches in his   
life, they are never the same again after he's been in their lives." AJ said   
as Kevin stood next to him and nodded agreeing with everything AJ was   
saying. He was so right and it is hard to take away something that is so   
good in this world.


	10. Chapter 10

Brian had been at Nick's for about two months now and he was really feeling the effects of the disease. He was losing weight and he was in the bathroom constantly it seemed which was making him lose a lot of sleep. He didn't want to make the call, but knew he was close to the hospital stage. 

He hadn’t been this scared in his whole life. Just knowing it was getting closer and closer to his death, killed him. He loved life so much and he never thought his life would end this way. He always thought it would be around his loved ones. Having his wife hold his hand through all the pain. He couldn't help but let the tears come. He missed his family so much. The phone just wasn't enough. Brian knew he would most likely never see his boy again and he wanted to so bad. He had missed Baylee's second birthday and that pained him to no end. His stomach sudden felt upset and he made it to the bathroom just in time before he threw up again. 

After he let out his wastes once again, he had to sit down on the floor and cry. He couldn't take this anymore. He wanted to be with his family. He never felt so lonely before, not even when he was away for months on end. He sat there on the floor and cried his heart out. Cried for the ones he wanted but couldn't be with.

What killed him the most was having to leave Leighanne and Baylee. Even though he knew it was the right thing to do, he couldn’t live with the thought of what this is doing to them.  
It was killing him but he didn't regret leaving. He saved their lives by leaving. He was so upset, he didn't hear the bathroom door open.

"You alright man?" Nick came walking in.

Brian shook his head no. He was too weak to yell at Nick to leave. He couldn't even get up. He was too upset. Nick walked over to him and helped him up. 

"Come on Frick, let's get you back into bed." Nick knew he shouldn't be in there but he couldn't stand the thought of Brian suffering by himself anymore. Nick knew he would most likely get the disease but that was the last thing that was on his mind. He just wanted to help Brian through this pain. He wanted to help Brian get up since he was too weak and upset to do it himself.

"There we go." Nick picked Brian up and wrapped Brian's arms around his neck so he could carry him easily to put him in his bed. Brian was so light it was no problem for Nick to carry him. Nick was so scared to hurt him knowing his body was so weak.

He helped Brian lay down and covered him up. 

"You shouldn't be in here." Brian said weakly.   
"I don't care." Nick replied. "I'm glad I came in or you would have still been in the bathroom." 

Nick couldn't stand the sight in front of him. This was not Brian, not his best friend. He wanted to cry but not in front of Brian. 

"I'll check on you later." Nick got up and slowly walked out. Brian fell right to sleep.

Three hours later, he awoke to the phone ringing. He wasn't even to going to answer it until the message machine came on and he heard a little voice. "Hi daddy!!!" It was Baylee. Brian reached over as fast as he could, which was very slow, and picked up the phone.

"Hey buddy." He said softly.

"Daddy coming home?!" Baylee said in excitement. It killed Brian to hear that, but he felt a warming in his heart to hear that voice.

"No buddy." Daddy still doesn't feel good.”

"Tell daddy you miss him and love him." He could hear Leighanne whisper in the background. "I miss you daddy...and I love you"

"I love you too buddy." Brian knew he had to hurry and get off the phone before he had to get sick again. "Let me talk to mommy really quick"

"Okay daddy." Baylee handed Leighanne the phone. 

"Hey." She said softly.

"Hey baby," He said back with his weak, scraggily voice.

"I miss you so much." She said. The sadness was evident in her voice. "Our son is the only thing keeping me sane through all this."

"I know baby. I'm so sorry..." his lips started shaking, and the tears started flowing. "But you gotta keep staying strong ok?" He let out a cough. She could tell how bad he was getting. 

"Brian you need to get to the hospital. I am going crazy staying home knowing your not there. I'm going out of my mind."

"I'm going soon." He replied. "I'm not getting any better." 

"I know but I would rather have you there."

"I know baby." He coughed again. "I'm going to call Nick and tell him to make the call. He's been wonderful to me, but it's time."

"Ok...." Brian could hear her crying on the other line. 

"I wish I was there with you. I wish my hands could reach out and touch your face. I miss you so much." He started to cry. "I need you so badly Leighanne”

" I know, I miss you too." She replied. "We both miss you." Baylee had crawled into her lap.  
"Ok Baylee say bye to daddy. He has to go." 

"Bye daddy I love you" 

"I love you to buddy," Brian started to cry also feeling more ill. 

"Bye baby, "She replied. Call me when you get the chance. I love you"

"I will and I love you too."

They hung up the phone and Brian vaulted to the bathroom as soon as he could. He got sick again. He had made up his mind and when he slowly made it back to his bed, he picked up the phone and called Nick.

"Yo," Nick replied. 

"Nick. It’s me." 

"Oh is everything okay?" Nick started to feel a panic and his heart felt like it stopped beating.

"No, I need to get to the hospital." Brian replied.

"Oh my gosh!!!" Nick was so scared. "Are you breathing okay? Are you light headed? Did you throw up blood? Do you think you are having a heart attack?” Nick couldn't calm down he was so scared.

"Nick, calm down." Brian replied. "I just need to go. It's time."

"Oh ok. I'll be over there. I'm driving you"

"No, Nick."

"Brian...no exceptions. I am going. Just sit down. I'm getting the car ready and I will be over there. If you don’t want to take your stuff now, just leave it and I will bring it to you later. Lets get to the hospital and have them get you settled." Nick hung up the phone before Brian could contest with him about it and ran over there.

Nick opened the door and went into the bedroom. "Come on buddy." Nick helped Brian up. 

"Nick I told you no…" Brian said in his weak voice

"I don't care. I'm taking you."

Nick grabbed Brian and put his arm around his shoulder to make sure Brian wouldn't fall over and helped him to his car.

Nick made sure Brian was in and buckled up. He got in and left for the hospital.   
Nick didn’t know what entrance of the hospital to take Brian in so he took him to the emergency room. The doctors and nurses were in shock when they saw Brian. He looked so terrible.

They ran to help Nick. When they got Brian settled into a room, the doctor checked Nick out since he had been around Brian.

"How long has Mr.Littrell been staying with you?" the doctor asked Nick.

"For about two months now." Nick replied.

"And how many times have you been around him? Just random times you two were in the same room?"

"I was just around him today."

"Ok..." The doctor said in amazement.

"I had a small house separate from the main house and he stayed there." Nick explained.

"Oh ok I see. That's not what I am amazed about. That's good though that you had stayed away from him."

Nick nodded then asked. "What are you amazed by then? If you don't mind me asking."  
"Mr. Carter...do you have a wife? Girlfriend? Fiancé? Children?

"No, it's just me."

"Okay then. Mr. Carter...I got your tests results back. And we are learning more and more about this disease every day. Now, I am guessing this disease spreads very quickly and I am sorry to be the one to tell you but whatever this kind of disease is, it has infected your body. Now, have you been feeling ill or weird at all today that you didn’t feel before?" Nick was wondering why the doctor was wearing a complete body suit while checking him out. He felt like he was an alien being examined.

"I was acting weird earlier. Like I wasn't able to control my emotions."

"Ok...that could also be the stress of dealing with your friend, Mr. Littrell as well. Like how? “Did you start doing things before that you have never done before being this upset? Shaking?“ “Did you find yourself in a corner rocking back and forth?"

"It was just like one minute I was fine, then another I was screaming and yelling at nothing."

"Oh ok. I see. Ok but no throwing up? Dizziness? Ill?"

"No."

"Okay..."The doctor finished making notes on his notepad, which was making Nick feel even more nervous and anxious.

"Ok, Mr. Carter. Please stay here while I go and see how your friend is doing to.” “See if they got him all settled in and see how his tests went and I will be back here to talk about your stay here. Okay?" 

Nick was shocked on what the doctor said. Him being hospitalized? 

"Okay sure" Nick said as he laid back. The doctor went out and it gave Nick time to think. He knew he had a high risk of getting it but he never thought he actually would. He couldn't believe it spread that quickly. He decided to call Leighanne and the guys. He wasn't ready to tell them that he had caught it also by his own stupidity.

He decided to call Leighanne first. She was so shocked that Nick got it that fast. She was so thankful for what Nick did by helping Brian and it tore her apart just knowing he was stuck with the illness as well. She told him she was going to come down to the hospital as soon as possible to talk to Brian's doctor. Next he called the guys.

They were to shocked to give him a lecture. Kevin told Nick he would call Brian's parents. Nick was very thankful for it too.

Nick had a little bit of stress off his chest after he was done calling friends and family. He just wanted to hear how Brian was doing and he didn’t even want to see all the stuff they had to hook up to him and know how scared he was. He wanted to tell Brian that Leighanne was coming. Just knowing it would make Brian feel a little better even if he didn’t know for sure if he could see her.

The doctor came back in. "Okay, we've decided to put both you and Mr. Littrell in the same room. He doesn't want to be alone and he knows you have it now."

"Okay thanks" Nick replied. "Right now?"

The doctor nodded. "We need to get you in the room ASAP."

"Ok." Nick said. The doctor could tell how nervous and scared he was. 

"Okay follow me." The doctor led iNck into his room.

Nick saw Brian hooked up to all kinds of machines and IVs. The doctor handed Nick a hospital gown and showed him where his bed was. "We won't hook you up to anything for now. I also made sure all sharp things were gone because I have a feeling the disease you have is going to mess with your emotions and feelings."

Nick eyes popped out of his head. He knew the doctors didn’t know much about this disease but he trusted them with this diagnosis.

"I'll let you get settled in." The doctor left and Nick walked over to Brian. 

"I'm sorry." Brian said softly. 

"It's not your fault, I was the one who got around you after I knew was at risk at getting it."

"Still, I can't help but blame myself." Brian said not wanting to look at Nick.

"Bri, look at me."

"What Nick?"

"It's not your fault."

"Okay Nick..."

Nick sighed and walked into the bathroom to change. He came back out and sat down on his bed. He knew Brian would always blame himself for getting Nick sick.

"Oh Brian I forgot to tell you. Leighanne is coming down to talk to your doctor. I called her and the guys to let them know about me and to tell them you checked yourself in here"

"Thanks Nick." "I hope I can see her."

"I dunno about that yet but the doctors have so many things. They have so many new stuff so you might be able to."

"I hope so, I miss her so much." Brian replied. "I know they won't let Baylee back here."

"No probably not Baylee.” “Children aren't allowed in the hospital and for sure not for something like what we have but maybe Leighanne. She might have to wear like one of those weird looking suits like what the doctor wore to protect herself or wear some other kind of thing but it would still be worth it."

"Yes, it will be."

"Yeah. I want to see the guys but if they do come down and see us it won't be for a while."

"Guess we will have to wait and see."

"Yeah."


	11. Chapter 11

Nick and Brian had gotten settled in and hoped someone would come in to see them. Brian was looking a little better since they put an IV in his arm to feed him. There was some color back in his face. Nick knew Brian was still beating himself up about Nick getting sick.

"So, you think Leighanne is already here?" Nick asked.

"I don't know." Brian replied. 

"Oh. Hopefully they will let her see you."

"Yeah." Just then the door opened.

"Mr. Littrell, you have some company." Then and there Brian felt a warming in his heart.

Leighanne walked in. She had on one of those suits but Brian didn't care.

He could still see her face and that was all his eyes needed to see. She walked over to him and started to cry.

"Oh baby." Brian said softly.

She was so scared to get near him seeing how weak he was. She wanted to run to him and give him a hug and hold him.

"Come here sweetie." He said softly.

She started walking to him slowly.

"Hey." He said, smiling up at her. He was so happy to see her. Nick watched the scene from his bed and sighed softly so they wouldn't hear. He was glad they let Leighanne come back.

She tried to keep herself calm. "I love you so much!" She slowly went down to him and held him as gently and closely as she could.

"I love you too." He slowly wrapped his arms around her the best he could. His stubbornness had come back and he was determined to get better the best he could. He knew he was going to die but he was going to fight it till the end.

As he held Leighanne, all the feelings he was feeling was just like the day he met her. Ever since he held her the first time, he knew he would never let her go but he never thought they would get this far and have to have his life end this way. He hated seeing how much pain she was going through. 

"How are you doing?" he asked. 

"I'm going out of my mind. I'm going crazy but Baylee is helping keeping my mind sane enough not to do anything crazy."

Brian nodded. "I miss him so much."

"He misses you too. He has been crying for you. When I start crying for you, he can hear me in our room. He starts crying in his room and I go in there to get him. He lays down and cries with me." She started to cry as she started caressing his face. Brian has been wanting that touch for so long. "I can't take this anymore Brian. I just can’t!!!"

"I know and I wish this wasn't so hard." 

"Brian I can't stand losing you. I know I told you I would stay strong for Baylee, but Brian...It is so hard. It is so h...." She started crying more. She couldn't contain herself.

"Shhh." He tried to comfort her the best he could. "We just have to take one day at a time."

She didn’t even want to talk about it. Nothing Brian could say would make it better. It just made it worse but she just wanted to be there with him and hear his voice. The most comforting thing was being in Brian's arms once again. That was all she needed.

Nick didn't know what to think. They heard the door open and the other guys walked in. AJ let out a gasp when he saw Brian and Nick. Especially Brian. The last time he saw Brian, he   
looked normal.

Leighanne stood back up. "Hey guys." Brian said.

"No, it's ok Leighanne. Go back to where you were." AJ said. Leighanne laid back down in Brian's arms. AJ walked up to Nick first since he was closest.

"Hey J." Nick said. AJ wrapped his arms around Nick. The guys were wearing the suits. 

Kevin went over to Brian and Leighanne. "Hey cuz."

"Hey Kev. how ya doin' man?" It killed Kevin looking at Brian. Losing his wife nearly killed him and now his cousin. He just didn’t know what to do.

"I'm trying my best to keep it together." Kevin replied. "Your parents and brother are on their way."

"Oh ok. Thank you." AJ walked up to Brian. Leighanne got out of Brian's arms for a minute. She wanted all the guys to be able to give Brian a hug. AJ was about to lose it. He hugged Brian as tight as he could. Leighanne had never seen AJ this way before.  
Brian hugged AJ then Howie. Kevin walked over to Nick. Nick kept his eyes on the floor. He was expecting a lecture from Kevin but instead got a hug. 

"Thank you for watching out for him." Kevin whispered. 

"I would have done it for anyone I love." Nick replied softly. Kevin couldn't believe they were going to lose their baby brother as well.

Leighanne went back into Brian's arms. AJ lost it even more seeing the hurt in the both of them and looking around and looking at everybody else. Leighanne took out some photos she took from Baylee's birthday. All the guys were there and so were people from Brian and Leighanne's families. "There were about 120 people there." She said. "But it was like I was there alone without you."

"I wish I could have been there."

"I know....Me too. We all did. Especially Baylee." She started caressing his face as she kept letting the tears come out. Brian wanted to wipe her tears and give her a kiss so bad but she and the boys had to wear face protectors to protect themselves. "You know what your son wished for?" She said as her lips started shaking more. 

What?" He asked, already having a feeling he knew.

"He looked at me after he made his wish. He looked at me with these sad eyes that always kill me, and he said…“Mommy. Do you think God will grant my wish?” I asked him what he asked for and said he asked God to send back daddy for him and mommy. He doesn’t like mommy being sad and he missed you. That is all he wants Brian. That is all he wants from God." Leighanne started to cry, as well as all the other guys along with Brian.

Brian felt like a knife just stabbed him in the heart. His son was so young but somehow knew something was wrong with his daddy.

"I can't come home and it's killing me." He didn't stop the tears. He wanted to hold his son and he wanted God to spare his life.

Leighanne held Brian as tight as she could and wiped his tears. She wanted to kiss him so badly. 

Mr. Littrell...you have more company" "You guys have 15 more min."

Brian's parents, Jackie and Harold, came in. Jackie walked over to Brian and the other guys said their quite byes so Brian could have some time with them. Nick felt so lonely. He wondered if his family had caught wind on what had happened.

Brian had never seen his mom this upset or his dad for that matter.

"My baby." Jackie said softly.

She hugged Leighanne and then she held Brian like the day she did the day he was born.

Brian curled up in his mom's arms the best he could. "I love you Mom." 

"I love ya too honey. How ya feelin?"

"I feel a little better since I got some food in me but I still don't feel that great."

"Oh ok honey. Stay strong and remember not to be mad at God. You weren't raised that way."

"I'm not mad." "Just missing everyone."

"I know you are. Your son is missing you like crazy." Every time somebody brought up about how much Leighanne or Baylee was hurting hurt Brian more and more each time.

"I know it dang it and I can't do anything about it."

"I know sweetie I know." Brian looked at his mom and then looked back at his dad. He had never seen his dad this way before. It killed his father seeing Brian not to be able to be around Baylee. He can relate for when Brian was in the hospital when he was 5. It was one of the hardest times in Harold Sr.'s life. "Dad?" Brian's father looked at Brian with tears in his eyes.

He walked over to his youngest son. "Oh son."

Leighanne watched as Father and son held each other tight. It hurt Leighanne so much knowing what Brian's dad was going through. She was having a hard enough time with Brian and Baylee.

Jackie had gotten up and walked over to Nick. "Thank you for taking him in and looking after him for as long as you could." Nick looked up at Brian's mom. 

"You're welcome. It was the least I could do." There were more behind the words and Brian was the only one who had caught the true meaning.

The doctor walked in. "Okay I'm sorry. Everybody you have to go. Visiting time is over. They need to rest." Brian knew it was going to be so hard to say goodbye .Especially to Leighanne. He could see she was already losing it. 

"Thank you so much you guys for coming down. Ummm...doc when is the next time we can have a visit?” Brian asked

"We don't like having the visitors in here everyday." "We usually let visitors in every other day unless something is serious."

Leighanne and Brian felt a little better about that. She let everybody else say bye to Brian and Nick before she did. "I love you babe." She said as she stroked his face. "I wish I could just kiss you."

"I love you too and I want to kiss you so bad too." She went over to Nick and hugged him to let him know that he wasn't alone and that he did have people who did love him.

"Tell Baylee I love him." Brian said before Leighanne walked out.

"I tell him that every morning, every night....Every second of the day." She blew him a kiss and wiped her eyes. "Bye baby. I love you...dream of me."

“Always and I love you too." He watched her walk out.


	12. Chapter 12

Nick's family finally found out he had the disease and his mom had called and chewed him out for being stupid for getting around Brian. His dad and his siblings did come to see him. He took what his mother said straight to heart. Even though the other's and especially Brian, told him not to believe her, Nick still took it hard. He started thinking about what his mom had said and he was getting very depressed.

This disease was already playing games with his emotions but now it was uncontrollable. He didn’t know what was going on. He started having feelings and thoughts his mind should not be thinking about. Brian tried to help as much as possible.

He did feel better some when his dad and siblings came to visit him. Nick hated seeing the sadden look on their faces, but it killed him to see the look on Aaron's face. Aaron had always looked up to him. He was his Big Bro and Aaron wanted to be just like him.

They didn't blame Nick or Brian for what had happened. Bob had been very proud of Nick for taking his best friend in. That was a lot of relief knowing that his father was proud of him, but still Nick was still really depressed, Brian was still weak, but was able to sit up and eat on his own. His color in his face was back as well. Brian and his family were very happy to hear he was making a little bit of progress, especially Leighanne. It was killing Nick having to be with Brian day in through day out and watch this since he wasn't at that stage yet, but Nick was feeling better about it seeing Brian make progress. The doctors told the family not to get their hopes way up, but it was hard not to.

Brian looked over at Nick. "Nick, what's wrong?" He was worried about Nick.

Even though Nick was ill and Brian knew he was having a hard time seeing Brian go through all of this and was scared of what the future held for himself, Nick was still acting very strange. He was acting like he lost all hope in himself. 

"You know...your health isn’t that bad. They might be able to find a cure soon and you might be able to be saved. Don't put all your hopes down."

Nick just looked down at his feet. "I don't want to be saved if you can't be."

"Oh Nick...c'mon now... Let's just not th...ink *cough* about that o..kay?" Brian started to cough uncontrollably.

"Bri, you okay?"

"Nurse!!!!" Nick hollered.

"Nurse!!" Nick hollered once more.

The nurses ran in to help Brian.

She gave him a shot through his IV. Brian started to calm down some. "You'll be okay now." She said. 

Nick was becoming more and more anxious. He couldn't control it. He was scared for Brian and for his own life.

Brian started to feel better and looked over at Nick. "Nick, come here." Brian said softly. He couldn't stand to see the look on Nick's face.

"What?" Nick still didn’t even want to talk about anything. For the first time in his life, he couldn't talk to Brian. Not like this. Brian wasn't himself. He was ill and not happy. Brian hated this. Nick had to listen to Brian cry himself to sleep every night crying for Baylee and Leighanne. When Brian talked to God, Nick can't help but listen. Nick always wanted to join in, but he still hadn’t.

"Come here please." 

Nick got out of his bed and walked over to Brian, standing there next to him.

Leave it to Nick to be stubborn. 

"No Nick, sit over here with me." Brian moved over so Nick would have a spot to sit.

"No its fine Brian. I'm fine here."

Brian sighed. He wanted Nick beside him. He knew the disease was messing with Nick's feelings and emotions.

"So, what's bothering you Nick?" Brian asked 

"Nothing." Nick replied. He had never felt this way around Brian before. He had always been able to go to Brian no matter what the problem was.

"C'mon Nick. Like I'm going to believe that..."Brian sighed. "C'mon tell me."

"I'm scared." Nick confessed softly. "I'm scared that one day I'm going to wake up and you won't wake up."

"Nick...Let's not even think about that okay. We are here and they are trying to get us better.” “ That is all that is on my mind too but it is the last thing I want to think about.” “Believe me...I'm going to hold on as much as can. If not for myself, I will for sure for you and my family. So let's just stay strong together."

"I know you're fighting, I am too." Brian knew something else was bugging Nick.

"Ok good! Glad we got that settled. Now what else is bugging you?" Brian was so good at knowing there was something bugging the ones he cared about and he never ignored it. He always had them tell him what was wrong and he always tried to help as much as possible.

Nick looked down at the ground. " I can't shake off what mom said."

"Oh gosh Nick. Just forget about it! Man! Don't waste your time worrying about it. She did it on purpose. She knew it would bug you, so just forget about it and forget about her." 

"I can't Brian!" Nick said. Brian knew the disease was kicking in. "She was right, if I hadn't been so dumb, I wouldn't be here right now." Nick started to cry softly. Brian hated when this was doing to Nick.

"Nick calm down!” “Lay back and close your eyes. Just rest. You need to go to sleep."  
Nick shook his head. "I'm scared to go to sleep anymore." 

"Nick...Don't worry. I am too, but you need your rest. We both do. Now just lay back and don' think about that. I'll be here when you wake up." Nick could hear the weakness in Brian’s voice.

Nick couldn't stand it. He got up and crawled into Brian's bed like he did when he was younger and homesick. Brian wrapped his arms around his best friend and let Nick cry. Brian was going to cry himself. He really hoped Nick would be better in the morning.


	13. Chapter 13

3 months later

Brian was very excited to get up this morning because he talked to Leighanne and she was coming to see him again. Only seeing her 3 times a week, killed him, but he cherished each moment. She told him she had very exciting news to tell him and she started to cry on the phone.

Brian told her to calm down and that he couldn't wait to hear the good news. Nick's family hadn't been to see him in three months and he really didn't expect them to. The guys, Leighanne, and Brian's family were making him feel loved just like they always had.

They were like his family. They treated him better than his own and he didn’t know what he would do without them.

Leighanne got there and walked in. "Hey." She said. 

Brian sat up with a huge smile on his face. "Hey baby." He whispered. When Leighanne walked in the room, all the world around Brian disappeared. All his worries were gone and he was just hoping a miracle would come along and spare his life. "How ya doin' baby? How's Baylee and the family?"

She walked over and hugged Nick before walking over to Brian. "I'm a little better." She replied. "Everyone is doing good." "Baylee still really misses you. He knows he can't come and see you."

"I know...It's killing me." Brian looked down and got a tear in his eye and looked next to his bed stand at a picture of Leighanne and Baylee. "But everybody is doing good?"

"Yeah." Leighanne replied, wiping his face softly.

"Yeah don't worry bout' everybody. They’re fine. Just waiting for you to get better like all of us."

“Brian said you had some good news." Nick said.

"Yes Nick. Thank you...." Leighanne gave him a smile. Nick always broke the ice and was always good at butting in. 

Nick shyly smiled back. Sometimes he wished his big mouth would just stay shut.

Leighanne laughed and looked back at Brian, grabbing his hand. "Baby.. I'm pregnant."

"What?" Brian couldn't believe. "Baby, that's wonderful!" Brian grinned ear to ear. "How far along are you?"

"I'm about 3 months along. Remember our last night together..." She grinned her sexy grin at him. "I love you so much."

Brian grinned back at her. "I love you too."

It made Brian more anxious to get out. He got a sick feeling in his stomach because he felt for sure he wouldn't be out. He wanted to share this miracle with Leighanne. He wanted to help her through the pregnancy and be there through every second. He didn’t know how she was going to do it on her own and take care of Baylee at the same time. Brian started to cry.

Reality finally hit Leighanne and Nick. "Oh Brian." Leighanne said softly.

Nick couldn't help but cry. He hated seeing Brian like this. Nick knew Leighanne and his family was his life and it killed him to see Brian like this. Leighanne got into bed with Brian and laid down next to him stroking her hand up and down his face, crying with him.

"I hate this." Brian cried softly. "I want to be there for you and I can't." He reached over and slowly ran his hand up and down her suit covered belly.

Leighanne put her hand on top of Brian's as they stroked her belly. "Baby...I know. That is all I want to but I would rather have you stay here and continue to make progress. I will come and see you still on our three days of the week and your family is really going to help me out and my family as well with Baylee and through the pregnancy. It's not the same without you but there is nothing we can do. The baby wont be here for about 6 more months and who knows what might happen by then. You might be better and be out of here.

Brian nodded. "I'm still hoping and praying."

"I know baby. I am too. I want you to be there through all the doctor appointments of seeing our baby and through all the shopping for this new baby and most importantly...the birth of our baby." Leighanne started to cry. She told herself she was going to stay strong for Brian because she expected Brian to be depressed about it but she just couldn't keep it in. This was just a tragedy in their lives. She didn’t know what she was going to do without him.

He tightened his grip around her. "I want to be there for everything too like I was for Baylee."

"I know.." 

Nick wished he could leave and leave them two alone but there was no way he could.

Leighanne looked over at Nick. He looked so lost and lonely.

Nick looked back down not wanting to distract them. Leighanne felt so bad for Nick. The nurse walked in. "Mrs. Littrell, you need to start saying goodbye. They both need their rest." Brian and Leighanne hated hearing those words. Brian wanted to go home with Leighanne. He felt like he was going to lose it. Leighanne walked up to Nick first to say bye.

Nick was going to lose it again. "You will never know how grateful I am to you for taking care of Brian." She said softly. Nick looked up at her and hugged her. He let her go and she went back over to Brian.

Brian couldn't help but cry. "I love you and I will call you later when you wake up and we will talk more okay? I love you..."She leaned in and held him as tight as she could.

"Okay and I love you too." Brian hugged her back. He wanted to kiss her so bad.

Brian put his hand on her belly as she held on to it tight. "Bye babe."

Leighanne felt the tears on her face again. She held onto Brian's hand as long as she could before she had to let go. She said bye to Nick one more time before walking out.


	14. Chapter 14

3 weeks later...

Leighanne was shocked by the phone call by the doctors at 9:00 AM. Brian's health had been getting worse. That up hill he had was the only improvement he had made. Ever since then, it had been all down hill.

Leighanne had gotten off the phone and cried. She was trying to calm down because of the baby. She didn’t want to risk the health of herself and this new baby but she couldn't help it. She got on the phone with Brian but their regular 30 minute phone call got cut short cause after 10 minutes of being on the phone because he was short of breath and had to let go of some waste. He was back to throwing up and his whole body felt like it was shutting down on him more and more each day, and Brian thought that was exactly what it was doing.

Nick was no better, he was having more fits and the thought of ending his life constantly surrounded him. He was having different symptoms than Brian. They both were very ill with high fevers and weight loss but Nick's emotions were unbearable. He was more depressed everyday and at least twice a day the nurses would have to come in and tie him down in his bed. He couldn't control himself. Brian knew Nick didn’t want to do this and it hurt Brian so much seeing Nick's body take him over like this.

Nick was getting so bad that the doctors threatened to put him in another room. It put Nick into an automatic fit. Brian didn't want to think about being separated from Nick, he was already away from his family, he didn't want his little brother to be taken away either.  
The doctors would have no choice but to put Nick in another room as this continued. They made the choice to put Nick in another room in 3 more days.

"I think we will move Mr. Carter to another room." The doctor said.

"What?" Nick and Brian both said.

"Just until he calms down some." 

Brian understood that the doctors were doing the right thing and it was their job to do it but Nick wasn't taking it too well. As the doctors went to grab his bed to wheel him out he started swaying his arms back and forth trying to hit the doctors and nurses and yelling on the top of his lungs.

"NO! BRIAN, DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME!!" Brian couldn't stand it.

"Nick...it's for the best man. Don't worry I'll be here." Brian tried to hide his tears the best he could.

"No! Brian." Nick wailed like a little child. The door shut and Brian felt really lonely now.  
This disease was becoming more and more controling as time went on and Brian was scared. What was next for him? And if all the things that was happening to him was near the end. He wished his mind wouldn’t let him think about it, but he felt like his body was giving up on him.

He knew he wouldn't be there for his and Leighanne's second child and it hurt him so much. His body just wanted to shut down. 

It felt like every 20 minutes or so something is wrong with his body. Whether he started to have body sweats all over, his fever raised, he had to go and throw-up, or he has a cough attack. Brian wanted to hold on as long as he could but at this rate it was so hard. When he had company, especially Leighanne, it was so hard for him to try and stay strong. The last time Leighanne was there Brian’s fever kept rising and he threw up twice. They had to end their visit early.

The doctor had told Brian's family to prepare for the worse and that the end was near. Nick's fits had calmed down and they let him back in the room with Brian. 

"You okay man? These last 3 days were lonely without you." Brian said.

"Yeah, I'm not having as many fits as I was." Nick replied. "I was very lonely."

"Yeah man. That was freaky. I know it wasn't under your control but...Man." Nick was shocked to see how bad Brian had gotten in just these last 3 days.

"I knew I had no control." Nick didn't really look that great himself.

"Yeah so what? They gave you like some pills and shots to calm you down?"

"Yeah, they gave some shots and I calmed down. I'm still having fits, just not like I was."

"Oh ok. It's great to have you back in here man. I can't take being alone."

"I'm glad to be back, I was so afraid something was going to happen to you while I was gone."

"I told you I would be here man when you got back didn't I?" Brian tried to smile the best he could but it just didn’t seem to come out too well.

"Yeah you did." Nick softly smiled back.

"Glad tonight isn't another night alone," Brian said as he laid down further into his pillow. 

"Night Nick."

"Night Brian." Nick replied, laying down.


	15. Chapter 15

2 months later

Brian and Nick were barely hanging on. Their disease was getting worse and worse and Nick was almost just as sick as Brian. The doctors didn’t know what to do and their families were getting more and more worried.

Nick's dad had brought Aaron and the girls to the hospital to see Nick again and even his mom came to see him once. He was glad to see her go and was surprised he didn't go into a fit.

Leighanne continued to see Brian on her daily basis and kept Brian up to date on her and the baby. She was 6 months along now and the baby was growing. Leighanne came in to visit Brian after she got done with her appointment. 

"Hey my glowing wife." The most beautiful thing is seeing a women pregnant with your child. There was nothing that was more beautiful than that and when Leighanne walked in the room Brian's heart filled with joy.

"Hey." She replied smiling. "Brian, what's wrong?" 

"Nothing, Nick just has been asleep for awhile. He must just be really tired. How's the baby doing?"

"The baby is great! I am great!” “The doctor said I am doing everything just fine, I just need to try and stay calm and he has helped me through this stressful time."

"Good." Brian said. "Does he know the sex yet?"

"Yes. That was what I wanted to talk to you about. I found out today. Now you want to know right since I know now?" She sat down on his bed next to him and gave him a huge smile.

"Course I do."

"Ok...baby...We are having a baby boy!" Her eyes started tearing up. "We are going to   
have another wonderful son!"

"Oh God." Brian pulled her down to hug her. "That's wonderful news!"

"Yes, he is a healthy, baby boy!”

Nick watched as Brian and Leighanne laid there crying and holding each other but he couldn't just sit back and say nothing. "Congratulations you guys." Nick wasn't that supportive the first time around with the first pregnancy but he had grown up since then  
and he was so happy for Brian and Leighanne. He just wished he could do something to where Brian would for sure live and be with his family.

Brian and Leighanne looked over at Nick and smiled. "Thanks Nick." Leighanne said. Brian nodded in agreement.

Nick had to try and let out a little laughter just to get the three of them laughing and help get their minds off the fact that Brian may not be there for Leigh and this new baby boy, along with Baylee. 

"So...you guys think this baby boy will have Brian's nostrils again?"

Brian and Leighanne grinned. "I'm sure he will look just like his daddy."

"And his mommy. Look how much Baylee looks like you. Besides my big honking nostrils." Leighanne let a laugh and looked at Brian. "I love those nostrils.”

"So do pumpkin seeds." Nick replied.

"Yeah Nick...yeah." Brian let out a grin.

"Wow!! See! See!! He smiled! I saw that! HE SMILED! Man, Leigh, I never see Brian smile until you come around. That’s the Brian I know." Nick said.

"I'm really feeling good today." Brian replied. 

"Well, of course!" Nick laughed. "Owe that hurt! I can’t laugh too hard."

"You okay?" Leighanne asked.

"Yeah I'm fine." 

"Oh baby...I don’t feel too good." Brian said all of a sudden.

Leighanne looked over at Brian and his skin became very flushed very quick. "Oh baby..." Brian couldn't keep it down. He felt he was about to get sick...again.

"Grab that bucket right there." Nick said. Leighanne grabbed the bucket and got it to Brian right before he lost it.

After Brian got sick, he laid back. His face very flushed, and the sweat was coming from his forehead. He hated having Leighanne see him like this. Brian hoped he wouldn't get sick till she left, but he couldn't keep it in. The nurse walked in.

"Mrs. Littrell, visiting hours are over." 

"I'll get another bucket." She said. Leighanne thanked her. Brian finished and laid back down. 

Leighanne went and got another bucket and put it by his bed. She didn’t want to leave, no more than he wanted her to. They hated this and Brian couldn't stop thinking about Leighanne and his two baby boys, one on the way. He hated the fact that he wasn’t helping her through this pregnancy and even though the doctor said Leighanne and the baby were both healthy, he could see she was worn down and it killed him even more.

"I love you and sorry you had to see that." Brian said softly.

"Don't worry about it. It's not your fault. I wish I could be here through it all and help you every time that does happens." She stroked his face with the palm of her hand

He turned his head and nuzzled the palm of her hand with his nose. "Get some rest baby for me okay." 

"I will. Don't worry. It looks like the doctors want me to leave now. They probably want to check you out. I love you and I will see you soon and we will talk about this baby more okay."

Brian smiled. "Okay." He ran his hand over her belly. 

"I love you." She whispered into his ear, wanting to kiss him so badly.

"I love you too, so much." 

“I know you do. Same here baby." She gave him a smile and walked out the door, only to see the tears fall from his face.


	16. Chapter 16

Christmas was here. The family and the guys were coming to visit and it brought cheer to Brian and Nick. Brian just wished he could see Baylee. He missed him more than anything in the world. Leighanne showed him pictures and Brian couldn't believe how much he had grown. But there was a surprise for Brian for a Christmas gift that Brian didn't know about.

The guys got there and couldn't wait to see the look on Brian's face. It had taken months but AJ and the other guys finally got the doctors to agree, but it was to remain a secret so other families didn't start thinking that little ones could come back into the rooms. Baylee wouldn't be there until everyone had given them their gifts and settled in. Baylee not only missed his daddy, but he missed Nick as well so it was a gift for both of them.

Leighanne was already trying to keep herself calm but she was just too happy to see how happy Brian and Baylee were going to be. 

They all walked into the room. "Hey guys." Brian said. He looked good and both Nick and Brian hoped Nick's emotions would keep in check. He had had one of his fits right before they had gotten there.

A.J.'s face, when he walked in, was something nobody could miss. He was just smiling away as he started walking towards Brian. A.J. was the main one who talked the doctors in letting Baylee back there to see Brian. 

"What you smiling about Alex?" Brian asked as he just smiled looking at the way A.J. was walking and smiling. 

"Nothin' man...Nothin..." AJ walked over to give Brian a hug. Brian hugged him back and knew he was up to something.

They all hugged and told Brian about their Christmas Eve. Kevin was having a really hard time. It was his first Christmas without his wife. Brian could understand what Kevin was going through from being away from Leighanne and Baylee all this time.

Nick's family wouldn't be there. That was why he had had a fit. Kevin walked over and hugged Nick. 

"How you doing buddy?" Kevin asked.

"I'm cool. You?"

"I'm okay." Kevin stepped aside so the others could hug Nick. Brian's family also showed up not too long after the guys and Leighanne did. She was going to go get Baylee in a few minutes.

"Merry Christmas Baby!" Brian looked up at Leighanne with his arms wide open for a hug. She ran over to him. Brian wrapped his arms around her. 

"Merry Christmas." He hugged her tight. "Did Baylee have a good Christmas?"

"It was hard...but he got through it. He loved the gifts he got and he loved playing with everybody, but all he kept asking for was you."

"I know baby." Brian was not going to cry in front of everyone. "I'm glad he enjoyed everything he got."

"Yeah he did. But you know me...I just want to make my baby boy happy." AJ started smiling more. He knew Baylee was coming in soon and everybody was just excited to see Baylee and Brian's reactions. They knew that whole room would be filled with happy and sad tears all over

A few minutes past and everyone was talking, telling Nick and Brian about their Christmas. Leighanne got up and Brian looked up at her. "I'll be right back."

"Okay." Brian looked up at Leighanne in a little bit of confusement. The first thing he thought of was, was she having problems with the baby? and he was hoping she wasn't getting sick.

AJ looked down to hide his smile. He knew where she was going. Leighanne went out and saw her mom with Baylee in his little suit. 

"We go see daddy?" Baylee asked. He was so excited. 

"Yeah. You ready?" Leighanne's eyes already starting filling up with tears. 

They walked in the room and everybody moved away from Brian. Brian turned to see what everybody was looking at and he saw Leigh standing in the doorway with Baylee. Baylee looked around for his dad. He still didn't see him. Brian was so shocked he couldn't call out for his baby boy. Brian's tears started coming as much as Leighanne's and everybody else's were. Baylee looked up and finally saw Brian.

"Daddy!!!" Leighanne picked him up and sat him down on Brian's bed. 

"I love you so much!" Brian hugged Baylee as tight as he could. "Oh my gosh. Your so grown up." It made Brian cry even more. "Look at you.. Your...Your so beautiful. Look at you!"

"I've missed you daddy." Baylee hugged him tight. Everyone was smiling. 

"Merry Christmas Rok." AJ said.

"I knew you were up to something! I knew it!" Brian wiped his tears and put one arm out to pull AJ over. He hugged AJ. "Thank you man." 

"No problem. The least I could do." AJ got up so Leighanne could sit on the bed with Brian and Baylee. 

"Thank you baby." 

"It wasn't easy." Leighanne said, AJ and the others nodding. 

Baylee looked over and saw Nick. "Can I go see Uncle Nick?"

Brian didn't want to let him go but he thought a minute wouldn't hurt. AJ picked him up and took him to nick as Leighanne laid down next to Brian.

"Hey buddy." Nick said.

"Hi! How ya doin'?" Baylee said.

Everybody just cracked up at the way Baylee acted. He was so grown up and was developing a little country boy accent. 

"I'm okay." Nick replied grinning. He might have looked like Leighanne but acted just like Brian.

"I wanted to give you your gift before I go and see daddy again." Baylee handed Nick his gift. Nick took it from him. 

"Thanks buddy." 

"You are welcome" Baylee gave Nick a smile. As Brian watched Baylee, a smile never left his face. Everyone was smiling just as much.

"Okay, you better get back over to your daddy." Nick said. Baylee grinned and hugged Nick again. 

"Love you Uncle Nick."

"Right back at you buddy." Nick didn't understand why Baylee acted this way when he didn't really see Baylee as much as like AJ did. It really touched Nick the way Baylee acted around him.

Kevin helped his little cousin back over to Brian and Leighanne.

"I'm going to have a brother daddy!" Baylee said out of blue while touching Leighanne's stomach.

"I know."

"You going to come home soon?" Baylee asked Brian. The room fell silent as everybody's eyes started filling up with tears. 

"No buddy. Daddy is still feeling really bad." 

"Oh..." Baylee's face started scrunching up. 

"Baylee..." Leighanne put her hand under her son's chin to face his face towards her. "Daddy wants to come home..." Brian was just about to lose it. He couldn't take it anymore

"I know, I want daddy to come home too." He hid his face in the crook of Brian's neck. Brian wrapped his arms around his boy. Everyone was starting to think this had been a bad idea. The only thing Leighanne wanted was Baylee and Brian to see each other because with what the doctors were saying, this would probably be the last time they would see each other. Leighanne knew she would regret it if she didn't let them see each other.

"Shh Baylee." Brian said softly. Brian couldn't stand to see Baylee like this.  
Baylee's eyes started to open and close softly. 

"He didn’t get much sleep last night." Leighanne said as she stroked her hand back and forth from Brian's face to Baylee's hair. "He stayed up with me for quite a while."  
Baylee felt so good in Brian's arms again. He was falling asleep slowly .They all knew it was almost time to go

"I love you son and I'll always be with you." Brian whispered softly into Baylee's ear. "You help mommy with your new brother." Baylee finally gave in and closed his eyes.

Leighanne looked at Brian in shock because she finally saw that Brian had lost hope and she knew the time was coming. She couldn't take it anymore. She took a walk out the door. 

"Leighanne.." Brian started calling for her. "Can somebody go check on her?" Brian was so scared for Leighanne. He was scared how she was taking this. Even though she said she was fine and that the baby was fine, he didn't see what went on at home.

Kevin went after her. Brian finally broke. AJ and Howie were by his side. Nick felt a fit coming on and willed himself to calm down. The feeling went away and he sighed in relief. He was also feeling his life slipping away.

Brian and Leighanne's mothers walked over to Nick and said there goodbye's to the rest. Then went to Brian. Brian kissed Baylee and Brian's mom picked up Baylee slowly and softly, trying not to wake him up. The guys said bye to Nick and Brian. Kevin came walking in with Leighanne who was shaking and crying hysterically. She couldn't calm down. Everybody was scared for her, especially Brian.

"Oh baby." Brian said softly. He opened his arms for her. 

She couldn't move. She didn't know what was going on. Her body wouldn't let her move. Kevin softly grabbed her arm and helped her walk over to Brian.

Brian pulled her softly to him and started to run his hand through her hair. "Shh baby." Brian said softly. "Please." Everyone silently went out. Nick wished he could have went with them. He hated that he was here with them when they needed time alone.  
Leighanne started shaking more and she was trying to calm down. Mostly for the baby's sake.  
:  
"Baby please." Brian was so scared. "I never meant for this to happen."

"I kn..kn..ow.." She stuttered as she went deeper into Brian's arms hoping the shaking would stop

He tighten his grip around her the best he could. He started to softly sing to her the best he could. He knew Baylee had to leave, but Leighanne would still be able to stay for a little while longer.

He wished he could touch her face and kiss her lips softly but he couldn't. He ran his hand up and down her back slowly trying to calm her down. The shaking started slowing down. Brian finally realized how bad Leighanne was taking it and he just hoped what the doctor said was true. He was scared for his wife.

"Leighanne." He said softly.

She looked up at him very slowly.

It wasn't fair! He wasn't ready to leave. He wanted to be there and see both his boys grow up, be there and grow old with Leighanne. Both knew it wasn't going to happen though.

The nurse walked in. "I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Littrell. Visiting is over. The rest of the family was still outside the door. 

AJ was getting mad. "Can't you just let them have five more minutes?!" 

"No, sir I'm sorry." 

"What the hell? Can't you see she needs to be with him for a little while longer?!" Kevin grabbed AJ’s arm. 

"It's okay AJ." Kevin said. Leighanne hugged Brian one more time and slowly got up. 

"I love you." Leighanne said softly.

"I love you too." Brian was so scared for Leighanne. He didn't know what to do. 

"Leighanne!" Brian said as loud as he could. She turned around to see her husband’s flush face full of tears. "I'm always with you." He stuttered as his lips started shaking. He just wanted to run to her.

"I know you are." She said softly. She said bye to Nick and walked out slowly.


	17. Chapter 17

The new year was here and Nick and Brian showed less and less improvement each day.   
They both knew, as well as the doctors and their families, that it was getting closer and closer to the end. It made it even harder for them all.

Nick and Brian weren't ready to leave the ones they loved behind but they had not control over their lives and when it was their time to leave the world. Both guys were constantly thinking back on their lives and knew they wouldn't change a thing. They would lay and reminisce together over the years they had with Backstreet.

They could still remember the day they all got together. It seemed like it was just yesterday in their minds. Both would laugh at all the stupid pranks and things they did just to drive Kevin and everyone else around them crazy.

They couldn't believe how long they were together and they were looking forward to this new album and tour. They knew if things kept up, neither one would see Brian's birthday.

They didn’t even know if they could make it to Nick's birthday even though it was only like three weeks away. Their bodies just wanted to shut down and give up. They were both skin and bones, Nick had been taken out of the room two more times, and Brian was throwing up almost every other hour.

"Mr. Carter how are you doing?" The nurse asked Nick. Nick’s temper had gotten so bad and he couldn't control it. He hit the doctor twice and tried to kick the nurses. He was so bad that at night time they had to tie him down in his bed.

"How do you think I'm doing?" He answered angrily. "I want to go back with Brian."

"Mr. Carter please calm down! There is no way you can go with Mr. Littrell just yet. He is too ill to even talk to right now okay? Don't worry...you will be going in there soon." The nurse walked out. Brian couldn't even move his body. He hasn't been able to get up to go to the bathroom in weeks so he has had to use a catheter. He could barely speak, let alone move his body.

Nick groaned. He wanted to be in there with his best friend. Nick just knew something was going to happen to Brian while he was gone. The disease was making Nick so dangerous, no one was aloud to visit him, not even the other guys.

Leighanne had continued to come and visit Brian as well as some of Brian's family and the guys.  
It was killing Leighanne. She knew he wasn't going to make it to much longer. Brian would still look at her and try to smile the best he could. She knew he was trying to hold on.

Leighanne was getting closer and closer to having the baby and Brian had a feeling things weren't going that well with her. He could tell she hasn't been getting much sleep and all the stress of losing him was taking her down. Every time she came to see him, he could tell she was up that night crying and not knowing what else.

All he could do was pray that God would watch over her and his two boys. Brian knew Nick wasn't in the room with him and hoped he would come back soon. He needed someone in there with him.

Brian has been too scared to fall asleep. He feared he wouldn't wake up, but his body needed it. He fell into a deep sleep and 3 hours he awoke and saw Nick back in the room watching TV. Brian hardly had any strength to talk. Nick looked over at Brian. 

"Hey man." Brian looked at him and whispered. 

"Hey." Nick could tell how bad Brian was getting. Nick wasn't looking too good himself but he had more strength to talk then Brian did.

"I'm so glad to be back." Nick said softly. He didn't want to Brian to talk if he didn't feel like it.

"Cool man." Brian whispered as he started coughing uncontrollably. 

"Brian you okay?" Nick asked. 

Brian couldn't stop coughing. His face started turning red and sweat started coming from his body. The nurse came in and gave him a drink of water. The coughing stopped but his body started shaking.

"It's okay Mr. Littrell." The nurse said, carefully watching what she said since Nick was back in the room. "Your body will stop shaking in a minute."

Brian laid back down as Nick started looking at him. Brian laid over on his side and started to cry. He kept seeing images of Leighanne and Baylee. The pain started to become worse. Nick knew he was risking it but he slowly got up and walked over to Brian. He sat down on Brian's bed softly and rubbed his bony back slowly. The tears came and Nick didn't stop them. He sometimes wondered why Brian didn't just let go.

All Brian wanted to do was hold on a little longer. Leighanne was coming in two days to see him and he wanted to hold on until then. Brian had never realized just how much he meant to Nick until they both had gotten sick and he started thinking about it one night. Leighanne was due anytime and Brian wanted to be there, but he knew he wouldn't be.


	18. Chapter 18

2 months later...

Leighanne was in her last month. The baby was getting closer and closer to coming and Brian was getting worse. Leighanne didn’t know how she had made it this far and she didn’t know what she would do once he was gone. Every time the phone rang she was always scared it was the hospital calling her. Leighanne saw Brian 2 days ago, but today she was calling him so they could start talking about what to name their baby boy.

Brian could barely move and Nick knew Leighanne was going to call. Their phone rang and Nick picked it up for Brian and held it for him.

"Hello." Brian said weakly.

"Hey baby. How are you doing today?" Leighanne asked worried.

He coughed softly. "Do you want the honest truth or the sugar coated version?" He asked, trying to show a hint of his old self.

Leigh sighed. "Oh Brian...stop"

"I'm sorry."

"No….really, how are you doing today? What has happened?"

"I'm not any better, but I haven't thrown up today."

"Oh. That’s good… in a way."

"Yeah." Brian replied. "How are Baylee and the baby?"

"Both are doing very good. AJ and Kevin are here. They are downstairs watching Shrek with him."

"I'm glad someone is there with you."

"It's not the same without you Brian." She started to cry. "I don’t know how to hold on anymore."

"Shhh, I know sweetie. Stay strong, you are a strong person."

"Brian...I'm strong because of you." The nurse walked in. "Mr.Littrell, you have five more minutes on the phone."

"Okay." Brian replied to the nurse. "You are strong even if you don't realize it." "Have you thought of any names for the baby?"

"That's why I wanted to talk to you today." Leighanne and Brian both wanted to name the baby today on the phone because they both were cautioning for the worst just incase Brian wasn't there tomorrow. They just didn’t want to talk about. "Have you?"

"Let's see, I really liked the name Jake." Brian said.

"Oh baby...That is so adorable! I have always loved that name. You really read my mind"

Brian smiled. "I'm glad you like it baby. I really do.”

"Ok then let's see how about a middle name..."Leighanne fell silent for a second to think. "Brian...I think we should have your father's name in it. I have been thinking about it. Not Harold since your brother has it. I think we should use Baker. I love that name."

"It's perfect."

Brian got a smile on his face. Nick looked over at him and it even brought a smile to Nick's face. Nick hadn’t seen Brian smile in awhile. 

"Ok baby...That's it! We got a name for our new baby boy!" Leigh was so excited. Brian kept smiling. 

"Jake Baker Littrell."

"It sounds perfect."

"Yes it does." The nurse walked in. 

"Brian start saying your goodbye's.” Brian replied by nodding his head.

"Hey baby, I'm so sorry. I have to go. But I will see you on Friday right?" Leighanne wasn't replying. "Leighanne?"

"OH GOD!" He heard her scream.

"Oh my God!!...Leighanne?" Brian heard the phone drop to the floor the same time he heard Kevin's voice in the background. 

"AJ! Call the ambulance!" 

AJ picked up the phone and started to try and dial but Brian was still on the phone.

"AJ what's wrong?" 

"Oh Brian your still on the phone. Brian, Leighanne's water broke and she is in excruciating pain.

"She is too soon," Brian said.

"I know man." AJ was calling the ambulance on his cell.

AJ got off the phone with the ambulance and picked up the phone to talk to Brian till the ambulance got there.

"Okay, they’re here Brian." AJ said.

"Ok as soon as possible, please come and tell me what happened." Brian started to cry and shake. He was so scared. 

"Ok I will." AJ replied. AJ hung up the phone not realizing that would be the last time he would ever talk to Brian.  
.


	19. Chapter 19

Nick had hung up the phone and went back over to his bed. He wasn't feeling that great, like a wave of pain had hit him. 

"I'm so scared Nick." Brian said softly. Their beds were almost right next to each other.

"Don't worry man. I'm sure she's fine. Just think...Maybe the baby just wants to come out a little early. Your going to be a dad again!"

"I bet she and the baby will be fine."

"I really hope so Nick." Brian looked over at him. "I just wish I could be there with her. I'll never see my baby boy."

"I know Brian. Don't worry. I bet Leighanne's mom, and stepfather and her sisters are in the labor room with her. Don't worry."

Brian started to cry softly. "I want to be in there with her." "I don't want to die."

"I know Brian." Nick started to cry. He had a feeling this day was not going to be good.

"Oh Frack. I didn't mean to make you upset." Brian said softly. "I don't want them to take you away again."

"It's cool Brian. Don't worry. Let's just wait and see what happens." 

3 hours later

The doctor walked out to the waiting room towards Leighanne and Brian's family.

They all look up at the doctor. He knew who they were so he walked right over to them. "It's a boy and they are both doing fine."

They all sighed in relief. "Oh thank God!" Jackie said." May we go and see her and the baby?"

“Yes, you all may go in and see her. She should have him fed and with her still.”

"Thank you." Jackie said. They all walked to her room except AJ and Kevin. They wanted to go and tell Brian so he would stop worrying. They walked up to the front desk.

"Can I help you?" The nurse asked kindly.

"Yes, can you tell us if Brian is allowed visitors right now and what room he is in?" AJ asked.

"Brian Littrell" Kevin added.

The nurse checked. The look on her face was not one Kevin and AJ wanted to see. They could always pick out their fans. "Mr. Littrell and Mr. Carter both passed away two hours ago." The girl had tears in her eyes.

AJ grabbed Kevin's shoulder. He nearly fell to the floor. "What happened?" Kevin asked.

She wiped her face. "It looks like the disease finally took its toll and they couldn't fight it any longer." "I'm so sorry."

After Brian had gotten off the phone with Leighanne, his stress level rose so the doctors came in and gave both Brian and Nick a shot to calm them down and to help them sleep. They both passed in their sleep.

Kevin softly thanked the girl and they both walked off. How were they going to tell everyone? They got to Leighanne's door and slowly went in.

The family looked at Kevin and AJ and knew something was wrong. Leighanne looked up at them. "Did you guys tell Brian his brand new baby was born, huh?" She had tears in her eyes. "Look at him. He looks just like my baby. He's got Brian's eyes...and his cute little nose."

Kevin couldn't hold it in. He had a new baby cousin, but he had also lost a baby cousin. Kevin wiped his face. "Brian and Nick.." Kevin couldn't do this. AJ took over." Brian and Nick passed away in their sleep two hours ago."

Brian's mother grabbed little Jake as Leighanne broke down and cried. The doctors walked in and asked what the problem was. They were planning on telling Leighanne after everybody left but they were gladded she found out when family was around. They went to Jackie and grabbed Jake to take him to do his footprints and take his picture. "No don't take him away." Leighanne yelled. Kevin tried calming her down.

"Please let her keep him." Jackie begged. The doctors nodded and handed Jake back to Leighanne.

"Ok, we will do all the info later." Leighanne had Jake cuddle in her arms as she started rocking back and forth. Leighanne's loud cries started making Jake cry. Harold had Baylee. Leighanne put out her hand to have Baylee come to her. Harold put Baylee on the bed with Leighanne and she cuddled with both her babies.

"I love both of you." She said softly to Baylee and Jake.

"I love you too mommy." Baylee said. He leaned up and gave Leighanne a kiss on the lips. He crept his head over to look at his new baby brother.

"He looks like daddy." Baylee said, innocently.

"Yes he does. You too baby. You do too." Leighanne kissed Baylee on the forehead as the family came closer to her to give her a hug. 

They were all crying for both Brian and Nick. Nick was just as much as family as Brian was and it hurt just as much. 

"My baby is gone." Jackie said softly.

Harold grabbed Jackie and held her in his arms. AJ held baby Jake as Leighanne and Baylee cried in their bed. The crying and yelling of Leighanne was making Jake cry more and more. The doctors felt this would be the time to take Jake and do his tests and prints while she calmed down.

They took Jake and promised to bring him back. "Is daddy and Uncle Nick gone?" Baylee asked.

"Yes baby."

Baylee started to cry harder he was so little but understood daddy was gone.

"Oh Baylee." Leighanne said. AJ and Howie were comforting Kevin. They also couldn't believe Frick and Frack were gone.

The family stayed as long as they could but the doctors said Leighanne and little Jakey needed their rest. The family said their goodbye's. Brian and Nick's doctor went in after the family left to tell Leighanne everything and to talk about funeral arrangements. That night was the hardest night Leighanne would ever have to go through.


	20. Chapter 20

The funeral arrangements were made and they were going to bury Nick first in his hometown in Florida then lay Brian to rest in Georgia. Nick's funeral was 2 days before Brian's. Nick's whole family was finally there, even his mother. All the guys, Leighanne, Baylee, Jakey, and all of Brian's family were there as well. They already had Brian's funeral planned so they didn’t have to do anything before they laid Brian to rest.

Leighanne and Brian's family would be forever grateful to Nick for taking Brian in and taking care of him. He put his life on the line for Brian like a true friend would.

Aaron was taking it the hardest. It was so hard for him to deal with the fact that his big brother was gone. After the funeral, the Carter's held a family get together. Most of Nick's family went and the guys, but Leighanne and the kids and the rest of the Littrell's headed back to make sure everything was set for Brian’s funeral. They guys had a song they performed at Nick’s funeral dedicated to him and they had one to perform at Brian’s as well.

The album would be released and dedicated to both of them. Kevin, AJ, and Howie knew Nick and Brian wouldn't want them to never release it after all the hard work they had put into it, but it would be their last as the Backstreet Boys.

2 days later Brian's funeral…

Everything was set. Brian's mother, father, and brother went early and had a while alone with him. Then Leighanne and the children had time alone with him before the others showed up. Leighanne was taking it too hard. She had to go to her car for a while to be alone to calm down. AJ walked over to her car and opened the door. 

"Leighanne?" She was so upset.

Leighanne pulled AJ to her and hugged him tight. Her loud cries and yells brought the others to her. 

"Shhh." AJ said softly, rubbing her back. They didn't know what to do. All they could do was be there for each other and help Leighanne with the boys as much as they could.

They all went back inside for the funeral. After the funeral, the family was going back to the Littrell's home to celebrate the life of Brian Littrell and how much he meant to everybody he touched.

Leighanne was very thankful for the rest of the guys and her and Brian's family. She didn't know what she would have done without them. Baylee had cried all day, cried for his daddy.

Leighanne couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't believe that her husband was gone, she never felt so lonely before. He was the man of her life. She was going to spend the rest of her life with him and now she couldn't. She couldn't imagine life without him. She was getting closer and closer to losing it. The only thing that was keeping her sane was their babies. Baylee and Jakey.

Kevin walked over to Leighanne had hugged her. "It hurts Kev." She said softly. 

"I know it does. Don’t worry. He is here with you and he will continue to watch over you and your babies."

"I know but I still feel empty inside."

"I know how you feel. When I lost Kristin, my whole world shut down. But you've got your babies. They will help you through it. We all will. Don't worry." 

The family stayed until 9:00 with Leighanne and the children. Baylee started getting restless and he was having a fit missing his daddy. The family left and this was the first night after Brian was laid to rest.

She was tucking Baylee into bed. "Mommy." Baylee said softly.

"Yes baby?"

"Is daddy in Heaven?"

"Yes baby. Of course he is. He's an angel. He's our angel. He's watching over us right now. He'll be with you when you’re sleeping and throughout the days of our lives."

"I promise to be a good boy and help you with Jakey."

"I know you will baby. Daddy and I have never doubted that." She leaned over and gave him a kiss. Jake was already put into his crib.

"I love you mommy."

"I love you too honey." Leighanne ran her hand through his hair as she started crying and heaving from trying to keep the loud cries in. She laid there until the two fell asleep. She could feel Brian's presence as she tried her best to sing Baylee to sleep.

Baylee fell asleep and she went over to check on Jake. Her new baby looked more like Brian then Baylee did when he was born. She had promised to Brian to stay strong for their boys and she was going to do all she could to keep that promise. She shut the lights off and walked to her bedroom.


	21. Chapter 21

Every car I meet   
Looks like your car   
Every movie I see   
You play the leading part   
You're on my mind   
Can't leave you behind 

Leighanne slowly walked to the bedroom. She opened the door and walked in. The bedroom never felt so empty, not even when Brian moved out had it felt so cold and empty.

When I close my eyes   
You're all I see   
In the dark of night   
You're in my dreams   
Throughout the day   
You're easy to find   
You're always there   
When I close my eyes 

She didn’t know what she was going to do without him. She felt like the world had caved in on her. She slowly walked over to the dresser and put his pajamas on that he use to wear all the time before crawling into bed. She laid down on the bed and pulled Brian's pillow to her like she had been doing all these other months. Even though she was alone, she could still feel his protective arms around her, holding her and telling her that everything was going to be okay and that she would get through this.

In my mind I know   
You're far away   
But here in my heart   
Nothing has changed   
I'm still holdin' you   
Like I used to   
On a busy street   
In a crowded room   
Wherever I go   
It's just me and you   
Together again   
it never ends 

She got up and put in their home video of when they went to go and get their marriage license. She could remember it like it was yesterday. As she was laying in bed, she could feel his touch. As she watched, she let the tears go. She had always loved his voice. It had always been full of life and laughter. She knew she would never find another like him and she didn't want to.

When I close my eyes   
You're all I see   
In the dark of night   
You're in my dreams   
Throughout the day   
You're easy to find   
You're always there   
When I close my eyes 

He was the man of her life and he still is and will remain to be. He was her second half. She didn’t know what to do without him. As she laid there watching the videos, she couldn't help but cry and scream as loud as she could. She didn’t want to wake up the boys, but she couldn't keep it in. She found herself laying on the floor screaming out Brian's name. She pulled her legs up and rocked herself back and forth.

She tried to stay calm but she was going crazy without him. She closed her eyes and thought nothing but Brian. She started crying loudly and as she sat there, she felt a touch on her shoulder. She started calling out his name once more but in a little calmer way.

She could have sworn he was there, telling her to calm down and that he wasn't gone. He was still with her and would be forever.

You're always there   
When I close my eyes 

 

Song used: “When I Close My Eyes” by Kenny Chesney


	22. Chapter 22

2 years later...

The past two years had been the hardest on Leighanne and the children. Jakey never met his father but Leighanne, Baylee, and the rest of the family made sure he knew who his father was. They always told him about Brian and showed him videos and pictures of him. The pain was fading however and Leighanne wasn't crying as much. She knew Brian was there watching them and was beaming with pride as he watched Baylee and Jake grow up from up above. Baylee was now 4 and Jake was 2. 

Baylee kept looking more and more like both Brian and Leighanne but Jake was just the spitting image of his dad. He had Brian's eye shape and color; he had Brian's hair color and curls, and the nose. He also has started developing little jawbones like what Brian had when he was younger. Every year on Jakey's birthday and also the anniversary of Brian's death they made a visit to Brian's grave. Every time Leighanne looked at their boys, it healed the pain even more. It was just like Brian was there with them. 

Baylee ran over to his dad's grave. "Hey daddy." He said, Baylee had also accepted that his daddy wasn't coming home but was still with him. "Guess what daddy, Jakey is two today." 

Leighanne, hand in hand with Jake, walked over to Brian's grave and over to Baylee.

"I was telling daddy that it was Jakey's birthday."

"I know you were honey. Thank you." 

"Daddy!!" Jakey said in excitement pointing at Brian's grave.

"Yeah, that's daddy." Leighanne said softly, putting Jake down so he could walk over to his brother.

Baylee grabbed Jake's hand as they sat down next to Brian's grave. Leighanne watched the two of them. The wind started to pick up and Leighanne could feel Brian’s presence standing next to her. Every time the wind blew, she could feel his touch.

Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin  
I feel you come back again  
And it’s like you haven’t been gone a moment from my side  
Like the tears were never cried  
Like the hands of time are holding you and me  
And with all my heart I’m sure we’re closer than we ever were  
I don’t have to hear or see, I’ve got all the proof I need  
There are more than angels watching over me  
I believe, Oh I believe

 

She closed her eyes and sighed softly. She was getting over the pain of him not being there and it was becoming easier to move on but she made sure her boys knew their daddy was still with them and that she would never deny them anything when it came to knowing something or watching something that had Brian in it. 

"I've been a good boy just like I promised." Baylee said, making Leighanne come out of her thoughts.

Leighanne's eyes started filling up with tears. She leaned down and gave each of her boys a kiss. "I know baby." She said as she ran her hand up and down his face. Baylee and Jake kneeled down next to her as she ran her hands over Brian's grave stone. 

"Don't ever leave us." She whispered.

Baylee took his brother over by a tree and they played while Leighanne talked to Brian, keeping a watchful eye on the two angels Brian had given her.

She kissed her hand and touched her hand to his grave. "I love you baby."

She knew there wouldn't be a reply but she also knew Brian loved her also. "Our boys are getting so big and look so much like you." "I don't know what I would do without them.” “They are good boys and you would be so proud of them." 

Now when you die your life goes on  
It doesn’t end here when you’re gone  
Every soul is filled with light  
It never ends and if I’m right  
Our love can even reach across eternity  
I believe, Oh I believe

 

The other boys had disappeared from the scene for awhile after the last album was released. There had been no single or video, just the album and the fans were happy with just that. They also made sure to visit Brian and Nick’s grave before going over to celebrate Jake’s birthday. 

"You made everybody proud when you were here. Don't doubt that. You made me so proud. I could never have asked for more and if I knew how this would end, I would still never take anything back. My life would've been nothing without you. You made my life worth while and you still do. Thank you for our babies.” “With them, it's like you are here with me.”

Forever, you’re a part of me  
Forever, in the heart of me  
I will hold you even longer if I can  
Oh the people who don’t see the most  
See that I believe in ghosts  
And if that makes me crazy, then I am  
‘Cause I believe  
Oh I believe

She felt a warm breeze wash over her and she sighed happy for the first time in two years. She knew he wanted her to move on and love again, just not to forget him and that was the last thing she would ever do. Jake knew what his Uncle Nick had done for his daddy. They had found a cure for the disease a year after Brian, Nick, and Kristin’s deaths and it was never seen or heard of again.

Kevin, AJ, and Howie had all somehow stayed in the spotlight after they had had sometime to heal, but none of them had stepped back into a studio and never would. They couldn't find it in their hearts without Brian and Nick. 

There are more than angels watching over me  
I believe, Oh I believe

 

Baylee and Jake started to run over to Leighanne. "Mommy you ready to go?" Baylee yelled as he was coming closer and closer. Leighanne stood up and felt a touch on her shoulder. She had no doubt who it was. 

"Don't ever leave us.” She whispered, as she grabbed both of her boy’s hands and walked away.

Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin  
I feel you come back again  
And I believe

 

Song used: “I Believe” by Diamond Rio


End file.
